Taeyeon is there when Chanyeol slowly disappears. He stops coming with Kyungsoo to Baekhyun and Jongdae’s flat. Baekhyun first asks curiously, “Where’s Chanyeol?” but later on when he doesn’t catch sight of the tall lanky rapper, he stares at the floor sadly, wondering if it was his fault. Taeyeon frowns when he doesn’t come so when Chanyeol finally shows up, she is full of shock. He walks in, uncomfortable silence entering as they all stare at him in surprise. He mutters a hello and then sits right next to Kyungsoo, checking his phone. Baekhyun looks at him curiously, opening his mouth to say something but then changing his mind.

 

To break the silence, Jongdae leaps on Kyungsoo, tackling him to the ground. Kyungsoo yelps, being crushed by Jongdae's body and Baekhyun watches them in amusement, laughing his head off. Chanyeol, however, gets up and walks outside.

 

Taeyeon counts to sixty before following him. She walks outside to see the tall figure in front of her, puffs of smoke rising in the air.

 

“Chanyeol”

 

The guy turns around in surprise, and Taeyeon’s jaw drops as she watches a cigarette fall from his mouth. Chanyeol stomps on it, crushing it with his foot. He lets out a throaty cough, rubbing the back of his neck nervously while avoiding her gaze.

 

“I thought you quit” Taeyeon looks at him, eyebrow raised.

 

“Well I-I guess I started again!” His voice sounds hoarse and raspy.

 

“Chanyeol” She takes a step forward, “Why?”

 

Chanyeol finally locks eyes with her and then he’s talking, rambling on and on, and Taeyeon listens without interrupting. “I-I just couldn’t do it, Taeyeon. I couldn’t act calm and normal around Baekhyun like you and Jongdae and Kyungsoo. I know you all are hurting inside and I am too but I can’t-I can’t hang out with him like we hung out during debut days, I can’t have a laugh with him without knowing that I will never hear that laugh again. I can’t-Baekhyun’s going to die and I didn’t know how to deal, how to cope with all that. I was trying to find a way to escape, let  my mind be free and I-I’m such a coward, aren’t I?” He coughs again. He then takes out a new pack of cigarettes and without hesitation, rips them in half, and throwing them in the trash can nearby.

Taeyeon grins at him, “You’re not a coward, Chanyeol Park. Not at all.”

Chanyeol grins back and engulfs her in a hug. “I’m so sorry, Taeyeon”

Taeyeon pulls away before walking back to the dorm, “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to, y’know.”

-

 

It’s March and the weather is still bitter cold and windy. Baekhyun and Taeyeon bundle themselves in scarves and sweaters before going for a walk at the park. They walk, holding hands and talking, and when they find a bench they sit down.Taeyeon sneaks a glance at her boyfriend. His face was getting more pale and his bones were protruding from his skin but his brown eyes still have that light and glow in it, the same beautiful eyes she saw when they first met, the beautiful eyes he will always possess.

 

It is quiet until Baekhyun speaks, “We could have taken our children here.”

 

Taeyeon draws in a deep breath, “Yeah.”

Baekhyun continues, "We could have lived in a nice house with a beautiful garden with lilies and roses. We could have had a girl and spoiled her rotten like a princess-"

"You mean, you would!" Taeyeon interuppts, "You would bribe her EXO merchandise!"

 

Baekhyun smirks, “You would have forced our daughter to go running with you every Saturday morning.”

 

“Of course” Taeyeon beams, “Every Saturday!”

 

Baekhyun exaggerates a groan, “She’ll hate you!”

 

“No she won’t!” Taeyeon punches him playfully on the shoulder, “You’ll be the father who will worry so much. I can already hear you on the phone, ‘Taeyeon! She’s crying, why is she crying? What should I do? Help!’” She tries to imitate Baekhyun’s husky voice but fails miserably.

 

Baekhyun laughs and it’s low and infectious, “I’m better at imitating people than you!” He grins, poking her lightly on the forehead. Taeyeon giggles softly and Baekhyun nuzzles his head into her neck like a cute puppy.

 

"And then we'll grow old together" Baekhyun goes on, "We'll never fight again and we'll think about all the years we spend loving each other."

 

They both sit in silence as if thinking about what the future they could never have together. She sees Baekhyun fumbling with something around his neck and she doesn’t realize what it is until he takes it off and drops it gently in her hands. Taeyeon is speechless, looking down at the bird, the necklace that she had given him back in December and has stayed hung around his neck since.

 

“Baek” She says finally, “It’s your necklace.”

 

“I want you to have it, Taeyeon” He smiles at her.

 

“But-I can’t, it’s yours, Baek-I-” Taeyeon began but she is cut off by the soft feathery touch of Baekhyun’s lips against hers. “Please” he mutters, leaning their foreheads together, “I want you to have it.”

 

Taeyeon nods, “Thank you.”

 

Baekhyun helps her put it on, his slender beautiful fingers working quickly until she feels the bird above her heartbeat. Taeyeon rests her head on Baekhyun’s shoulder, playing with their interlocked fingers. She looks up when Baekhyun says her name softly.

 

“Taeyeon?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Baekhyun pauses for a moment and she doesn’t even have to look at him to know that he’s on the verge of tears.

 

“Will you promise me something?”

 

“Yeah. Anything.”

 

Baekhyun takes a deep breath before saying slowly, “Promise me that you will never forget me.”

 

Taeyeon’s heart stops beating at that moment. She brings their fingers to her lips, kissing his hand softly, “You’re all I’ll ever think about.”

-

 

Taeyeon is there the second time at the hospital. She is there to hold Baekhyun’s hand, there to hear him whisper advice to the members. She is there to hear the last “I love you” fall from Byun Baekhyun’s lips. She is there to see the line go flat, there to feel his hand go limp against hers, there to hear herself cry out, “Baek, please, no. Don’t leave me.”

 

She is there.

-

 

Baekhyun dies on a cold snowy February morning and no one has seen Taeyeon ever since. A few hours before the funeral, Kyungsoo visits Taeyeon, to check on her to make sure she’s alright. He walks into darkness and sees Taeyeon curled up in a ball on her bed. He  sits on the edge of the bed as if she was a vicious creature, as if he will make one wrong move and she’ll attack.

 

“How are you?” He asks, looking at her messy tangled unbrushed hair and her bloodshot eyes.

Taeyeon shrugs.

 

“H-he asked me to give this to you.” Kyungsoo puts something on her bedside table and she rolls over to see it’s an envelope, Baekhyun’s messy scrawl on the front, “To: Taeyeon<3”

 

“I’m going to go.” Kyungsoo gets up and heads to the door, glancing over his shoulder at her, “I’ll pick you up later. You should get some sleep.”

 

“Okay” Taeyeon mumbles.

 

“Hang in there, Taeyeon.” Kyungsoo suppresses a small smile, “We all love you.”

 

Taeyeon nods, “Thanks, Kyungsoo.”

 

Kyungsoo leaves and Taeyeon lies on her back, staring up at the empty white ceiling. If she concentrates hard enough, she could envision Baekhyun lying next to her, a lazy amused smile written on his face.

 

“He’s right, you know” He lets out a yawn, ruffling his hair, “You should probably get some sleep, Taeyeon.”

 

Taeyeon pouts, “What if I don’t want to?”

 

Baekhyun smiles at her stubborness, “C’mon, babe.”

 

“Stay?” Taeyeon breaths out, plaintively, and she knows she must be dreaming, but she swears she feels his fingers running through her long hair.

 

“Always”

 

“But I don’t want to go to sleep” Taeyeon sighs, “Keep talking to me so I won’t fall asleep, Baek.”

 

“Okay” Baekhyun’s smile is blinding her or maybe it’s her tears begging for that sweet escape, “But close your eyes, m’kay? Close your eyes”

 

She does and lets Baekhyun whisper sweet nothings in her ear as she slowly drifts to sleep.

 

There’s someone calling her name and she opens her eyes to see Kyungsoo dressed in black, waking her up. She lifts her head up from her tear-stained pillow, wishing no one will speak to her so she can always hear that husky voice in her head.

-

 

It takes Taeyeon awhile to finally pick up the letter Baekhyun wrote to her and read it.

 

Dear Taeyeon,

 

Hi, babe. Tears are falling from my face as I am writing this so the handwriting might be smudged but I’m sure you can still read it.

I remember when I asked you to be my girlfriend. I was such a dork, don’t know why you said yes, babe, but I’m glad you did. We’ve been lovebirds for a long time and words cannot express how happy, how proud I am to be yours. Thinking about you makes me smile like an idiot. I hope I made you smile like an idiot too so we can both be smiling idiots. I want to thank you for your love, your support, your comfort, but most importantly, for staying.

 

No one has been there for me like you have, Taeyeon. You were always by my side even when the world threatens to pull us apart. You stayed strong and you helped me have hope, too. You’re amazing and I love you for dealing with my messiness, my loudness, my stubbornness, my bad jokes...You really are the best girlfriend ever and I love you.

 

I’m sorry for what is happening and I hate myself for being the reason why you all are sad. I wish I could rewind time and relive all those happy memories, even the not-so good ones.

 

I know that Jongdae is having a hard time coping with it all. Please try your best to make him smile. Remind him of all the good times we had together. He really is the best friend I have ever had. I know he’s crying in his sleep. Help him, please, babe.

 

Kyungsoo’s probably trying to find a way to blame himself for what has happened and Chanyeol’s probably going through ten packs a day. Please help them all, love. Help them to stay together as friends and brothers, always there for each other through thick and thin.

 

As for you, Taeyeon, move on. Grow up, get married, have a family. I want you to keep moving forward in your life without having me as a hindrance. But don’t forget your promise. Don’t forget our necklace. Don’t forget all the memories we have cherished together. Don’t forget me.

 

I love you so so so so so much, Taeyeon. Don’t you ever forget that, babe. I’ll see you later.

 

Love,

Baekhyun

-

Years has passed and Taeyeon eventually got married and had a daughter. But she never forgot her promise. She always wore their necklace. She smiled at all the memories they had cherished together. And she never forgot him.