Chae... The only girl I ever loved. It's been years and we've grown apart. I finally left Kiko because I realized that it was never going to be the same as it had been with her. She was everything to me and because of my selfishness I drove her away. We were never official. I never asked formally but what should I say? ' Hunchae be mine? ' but she was already mine. ALL MINE. Her girls tell me that I'm a cheat but they don't know the reason why I did it. I did it out of love. I cheated on her for her own good. I thought that maybe if I got obsessed with someone else she wouldn't choke. Maybe if I hurt her she'd never listen to me be mad at something she's doing for a living. She achieved all glory she got now because there was never a me to hold her back. I am not seeking an appreciation for what I did but I needed to explain myself to the world.

I can still remember as if it was yesterday that she texted me such words and she was right. Kiko was never going to be her and she'll never gonna be like Kiko. I miss her I miss my warm hearted baby.  These past years were probably tough for her. Being in that situation where one by one her members whom she considered as sisters had slowly tear down apart what once was the most sought after 2NE1 and she wasn't there to help them put it back together.

People called her selfish, arrogant and irresponsible. She was just paving the way for her girls. Making a name to support and carry her group into the