*   *   *

The high grass tickled the young boys legs as he ran through it. The air was crisp and clean in his lungs. These wide open fields were a playscape for the imagination. He could see turtles and knights in the clouds; he would imagine the butterflies as dragons flying off to their next adventure.  His feet brought him to the center of the field where he procceed to spin around in excited circles until his was too dizzy to even stand.

Youth was a fleeting thing. In that moment, Hongbin wouldn't feel such pure happiness again in his life. He'd have moments of happiness and contentment, but nothing like this. What a gift it is to be pure and have the world in your hands.  The clouds swirled above his dizzy little head as he tried to get his vision straight again. There were so many more games to play and adventures to go on. He couldn't spend the whole day jusy laying there. There were dragons and knights to play with, jewles to be found and kingdoms to be conquered. 

The boy jumped up gleefully, racing off to the next big adventure waiting for him. Hongbin just ran, not looking at anything around. He failed to notice a rock infront of him. He tripped, skidding into the dirt. His face hit the ground and he managed to break open the skin on his knee pretty badly. Out of instinct, as it would be for most children of his age, he started crying out. His cries echoed throughout the field. The child had no clue as to how to remedy the pain. He just wanted it to stop.

"Hongbin! Hongbin! What's the matter?"

The boy was brought back to reality by the shaking of his mother. Hongbin opened his tear filled eyes, looking up at his mother. The pain just wouldn't stop.

"M-my leg. I-i-i hu-urt my knee," he managed to choke out inbetween cries. His mother looked down at his knee, confusion lacing her once concerned expression.

"Hongbin... Your leg is fine..."


His cries settled down as he heard that. "What...?" Hongbin fully opened his eyes to see he was on the floor of his bedroom. The wide fields were gone. The dragons and knights were gone. The adventures into a new land were gone... It happened again, didn't it? Hongbin's small mind couldn't even begin to find an explination for what had been happening since he could remember. Reality was almost non-existant for him. His life was a never ending story he couldn't find the words to tell.

His happiest moment; a moment of pure bliss and freedom, wasn't even his. Was Hongbin destined to ever tell his own tale as the knight or would he be sequestered away in the dungeon of his mind?

*   *   *

 

Silence was the worst part of this. Being apart not only made him feel empty, but left everything completely silent. That was probably one of the things Hongbin hated the most about this. You were just utterly and completely alone with nothing but your own thoughts. The city raged on outside his window. Inside this apartment though, silence lingered all around. Hongbin knew he shouldn't be doing this to himself nor Taekwoon, but it was all he knew when in times of stress. He spent so many years sheltering himself and having others push him away that in a sense, it had become a twisted comfort. Something he hated so much was what he could only find solace in.

Hongbin couldn't bring himself to text Taekwoon after what happened at the gallery. For starters, it was beyond embarrassing. Having your girlfriend tell off someone whom you've known pretty much your whole life -no matter how complicated circumstances were- is far from ideal. Jiyeon had voiced disapproval of it before, but never to that extent. After a few talks, she seemed to understand that Taekwoon was someone precious to him and he had lost him in a signifcant way. Obviously that wasn't the case. Hongbin could get that not everyone could understand the nuances of such a thing. Especially when he couldn't give much detail or he'd sound completely mad. Even still... Why wouldn't she just talk to him instead of creating a scene like that?

Deep down he knew he should just man up and text him, but right now, he felt like a coward. Taekwoon didn't deserve that. He had just had this big ole unexpected painting pushed onto him and then oh look, how about we add a crazy girlfriend to the mix. Or, he should now say ex-girlfriend. That wasn't a fun one to end either. Hongbin tried his best to try and talk to her. To try to have Jiyeon give him something he could work with. Instead she was just filled with anger and unable to see any viewpoint but her own. Hongbin groaned softly to himself, staring up at the cieling. So much changed in a matter of days. His life had composure to it for once. A smooth course to sail down. Then Taekwoon pops back up and everything is sent haywire. Maybe it's because Hongbin had planned his life around the elder no longer being there. He didn't know at that point, he just knew, he had to try to make one thing right from all of this mess.

The male sat up in his bed, reaching out to the nightstand to grab his phone. This was the right thing to do. He knew that. Even though time had passed and tension had built, he couldn't leave anymore silence in between them. 'Don't freak yourself out. It's a text. Nothing to be scared of.' Right... nothing at all to be scared of. Because even if Taekwoon did the logical thing and completely ignored him, at least Hongbin made that initial step. Right? Yeah. It just needed to be done and over with. Pulling up the conversation, he mulled over what should be said. 'Sorry my crazy girlfriend got mad at you and sorry I waited days to say anything.' It was a daft response, but at least it was the truth. 'No, you idiot. At best, give him something more to work with. You know he's understanding.' 

"Hey Taekwoon. Hope things have been okay with you. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner. I've had a lot to process these last few days, as I'm sure you have. About what happened the other night... I can't get Jiyeon to apologize to you, but I am sorry it even happened in the first place. You didn't deserve it. You were just there as a friend to support me. I don't know what got into her. I wish for it not to come between us. I want this friendship to work this time around. I just got you back, I can't lose you, not like this."

Hongbin's eyes scanned over the text to one, make sure it was grammatically correct and two, make sure it sounded good enough to even be sent to him. The last line of the text made him physically cringe at how cheesy and dramatic he was being. Mumbling no to himself a few times as he shook his head, he deleted the last line before hitting send. God, why must he be like this? 'Any other person could just say sorry and get on with their life, but I make it a whole big event just to send a text.' 

With a huff, he stood up from the bed. He'd drive himself crazy waiting for a text. But in a haste desicion, Hongbin pulled up the conversation once more. "If you find it in your heart to forgive me, come visit me at my place. I'll send you the address." He sent the text, followed by his address before practically chucking the phone onto the bed. What. The. . Did. He. Just. Do. For most, this wouldn't be a big deal. Just having a friend stop by. Where's the problem in that? But Hongbin's heart was going a hundred miles a minute. He just invited Jung Taekwoon to his apartment. He started pacing across his room, mumbling the difference scenarios to himself of how this could go. Every option must be analyzed. What if Taekwoon didn't even respond? What if he did but it was a farewell? What if he did show up? Hongbin didn't even have any proper food to serve him besides some take out and liquor. This had so many ways of going wrong.

"Just breathe. It'll be okay." Hongbin stopped mid pace to take in a breath. He held it for a moment before counting to ten as he breathed out. His heart rate calmed a bit and his thoughts weren't racing nearly as bad. Hongbin made the decision to leave the phone in his room while he went to shower. The hot water would help to ease some anxiety. Having a plan was good. Being calm was good. Overthinking wasn't what was needed right now. Grabbing some gray sweats and black t-shirt to change into, he headed into his bathroom. This was already starting to significantlly calm him and he hadn't even stepped into the shower yet.  

Stripping himself of his clothes, Hongbin stepped into the shower, setting the water to a mildly hot temperature. The hot droplets cascaded down his back. The muscles unfurled and became at ease. Hongbin cleared his mind of just about any thoughts he was having. Now was the time to calm down. As he cleaned himself of this week stresses, it felt like his body was being released of all the pressures. So much had happened in such a short time. But for this brief instance, it's like he could wash all the worries away. Stress helped no one accomplish anything. Best to just breathe and take life each stride at a time. 

Hongbin could stand in that shower for hours. He never understood why it was such a comforting place, but it was. Even moreso with this shower. It was one of those rain shower showerheads. It reminded of him sitting out on the front porch during the first rain of the spring season. The scent that'd linger in the air after the rains had passed. It was so fresh and was hope of a new dawn. New flowers would bloom, the creatures would be out and about again. It was probably one of the nice memories he had of his younger years because it gave him some sense of newness. Something to tell him, "Your spring will come and when it does, may the brightest flowers bloom and may your days be filled with everlasting sunshine." 

The male turned the water off. He knew he had spent long enough in there. Hongbin grabbed a towel from the rack and dried himself off. God, did he feel so much better. This is exactly what he needed. Now, just to have a cup of tea to top this all off and he'd be able to sleep easy tonight. So he hoped. As he was pulling the sweats up, he heard the doorbell chime. His heart froze for a moment. All that relaxing was going to down the drain real fast. Could it be Taekwoon? No... Too much time had passed. Almost an hour had flown by and knowing Taekwoon, he was always about getting to things early. He wouldn't have taken that long. 

Rushing to the front door, still drying off his hair, Hongbin opened the door without any hesitation. His hand stop moving the towel across his head. A small gulp followed. It was Taekwoon... Realistically speaking, there weren't many other people to pop by at this hour of the night. It was well after 11. But who knows, maybe Jiyeon had come to her senses and wanted to talk to him. Seems like Hongbin wasn't the only nervous one at least. Taekwoon eyes had briefly scanned his figure before setting on his face. It's not like this isn't anything he hasn't seen before. Hell, a little over twenty years together. Seeing one another merely topless was like a kids program. Then again, this was the first time he was seeing Hongbin after he had really startred taking care of himself. His body had toned up, having a nice six pack to prove his hard efforts. 
 

"Taekwoon, I'm so glad you could make it. Please, come in." Hongbin stepped aside to let the elder enter. He showed him into the living room where they sat opposite one another on the couch. The younger could swear he heard the other mumble something under his breath about clothes, but wrote it off as him overthinking. 

There was that tension between them again. You couldn't say it wasn't to be expected considering the circumstances. After an incident like that and days not speaking, some awkward silence seemed fitting. Maybe it was just Hongbin though, but something felt different about this... He couldn't quite say what was causing the tension, but he clearly see Taekwoon was nervous.

Maybe this was his final goodbye to Hongbin.