It all started when our overrated adventurer, Kim Suho, woke up in a magical cornfield. It was the first time it had happened. Feeling alarmingly angered, Kim Suho slapped a ninja star, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). As if it really mattered he realized that his beloved iPad was missing!  Immediately he called his redheaded stepchild of a 'friend', Kim Lay. Kim Suho had known Kim Lay for (plus or minus) 1.2 billion years, the majority of which were eccentric ones.  Kim Lay was unique. He was plucky though sometimes a little... pestering. Kim Suho called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

   Kim Lay picked up to a very nervous Kim Suho. Kim Lay calmly assured him that most disease-carrying chipmunks yawn before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually surreptitiously belch *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Kim Suho.  Why was Kim Lay trying to distract Kim Suho?  Because he had snuck out from Kim Suho's with the iPad only four days prior.  It was a eccentric little iPad... how could he resist?

   It didn't take long before Kim Suho got back to the subject at hand: his iPad. Kim Lay panicked. Relunctantly, Kim Lay invited him over, assuring him they'd find the iPad. Kim Suho grabbed his time machine and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Kim Lay realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the iPad and he had to do it thoughtfully. He figured that if Kim Suho took the wannabe go-fast Civic, he had take at least three minutes before Kim Suho would get there.  But if he took the Segway?  Then Kim Lay would be barely screwed.

   Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Kim Lay was interrupted by six dimwitted marmots that were lured by his iPad. Kim Lay yawned; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling exasperated, he fearlessly reached for his ninja star and recklessly deflowered every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the disease-infested jungle, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief.  That's when he heard the Segway rolling up.  It was Kim Suho.

----o0o----

   As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Egg Roll King to pick up a 12-pack of dull pencils, so he knew he was running late.  With a deft leap, Kim Suho was out of the Segway and went explosively jaunting toward Kim Lay's front door.  Meanwhile inside,  Kim Lay was panicking.  Not thinking,