I think I found my baby. It took me a few years, but I think I found him.
After Idris found us, I took to searching for Joshua. It was a little hard to trace their tracks at first, but if there's anything Idris is at, it's hiding the bodies and covering her scent.
I followed the trail of poor souls until I found myself in Korea. I was a little confused at first, from what I had gathered, Idris was to kill Joshua not send him to another country.
I had to shake that thought from my mind, and be thankful that, for whatever reason, the woman spared my son.
When I started my search, I felt hopeless. Looking for a kid who would by now be in his twenties, and who probably wouldn't even remember me.
But all that changed when I saw him. I was just wondering around one night, hunting by the Han river, a nice cool summer night breeze sweeping past, when I noticed him.
He was just walking, smile painted across his face, probably from whatever the boy by his side was saying.
He his smile reminded me of the way his father used to smile. His eyes were focused on other, most likely listening intently to the other. I remember when he would look at me like that, listening closely as I answered one of the many questions he would ask me.
They seemed close, dare I say best friends. Every once in a while, Joshua would put his arm around the other boy and say something, which caused the latter to laugh in response.
I was almost tempted to say something to the boy, in hope that he would look at me, eyes filling with memory, and that he and I could start a new; but I couldn't. It was if my body wouldn't allow to do so. Then, suddenly, he looked up and our gazes locked.
It took everything in my power not to break down in tears at that moment. Though he had grown, Joshua hadn't changed one bit. The look on his face reminded me of that time when he asked why the sky was blue. He eyes were still full of innocence and curiosity.
I had to pull myself back to the present, and force myself to keep walking. Then out of no where, I heard him yell in my direction.
"Excuse me!" he called.
I froze on the spot, nerves taking hold of my already panicked form. I had hoped that I could talk with him on a private place, somewhere that explain everything, without exposing my secret.
Before his friend could look up from this phone he had pulled from his pocket, I speed away to the nearest group of trees in vampiric speed.
"Who are you talking to?" I heard the boy ask.
"I could have sworn that there was a woman standing right over there," Joshua answered.
"Jongin, maybe we should head back, because it seem that you're seeing things," the boy said with a note of sarcasm.
"Taemin-hyung, I'm not joking. There was a woman!" Joshua grumbled back.
"All right, all right, I believe you. But seriously, we should be getting back now," the boy, Taemin, said.
"Okay," Joshua said, the saying about not seeing things under his breath.
The two turned around and began walk back in the direction they had came.
Once they were a good distance away, I finally stepped out of my hiding place. I was confused; at first I was sure it was Joshua, but it was what the other boy, Taemin had called him.
'Jongin'
It was so sure, and yet so confused. Did my boy know his own name? Something strange was going on and I was going to get to the bottom of and get son back.
~♦~
Jongin's POV:
I rose from my bed, panting from the dream I just had; one the many I've been having for a few months now.
I called Taemin, asking if he'd be up to walk around the Han river. Luckily, he agreed and told me meet him there.
I stood from my bed, careful not to wake Kyungsoo-hyung.
It was so strange, there was always a woman and a man, presumably her husband by the way he would hold and touch her, in the dream. Sometimes, the dream would be different, and I have one dream over and over again. When they first started, the only thing I would dream where the couple chasing a little boy, no older than five or six, around in a friendly looking park. Or simply the two walking down some random street, showering the boy in affection if his place in the woman's arms.
At first, I was confused as to why I was having such dreams. I soon came to realize that the little boy was me, but, sadly, that still didn't give me any clues as why I was having such pleasant and yet strange dreams.
I told my mom about the dreams on of my visits home. She had asked why I looked more tired than usual, so I told her everything. I expected her to laugh it off, pull me into a hug and kiss my forehead like she usually did when I was being ridiculous, but none of that came. Instead, she just sat there, looking uncomfortable; as if she was hiding something from me. After a few seconds of silence, she just shrugged and told me that it was just nerves. I still find the way she reacted a bit strange, but I did say anything about it.
The months went on, and I continued to have the same dreams, that is until the night before the last planet tour began.
Up until that point, all my dreams great, but that dream sent my mind reeling. It started of sweet, the woman tucking me in bed and reading me a story. I soon fell asleep, hearing her say a faint 'good night' before leaving the room. For what felt like a few minutes, darkness was the only thing that filled my vision; but then my eyes flew open when the bedroom door was slammed open.
A tall, dark looking man stood at my door, just standing there with the most frightening smile on his face. He walked inside and grabbed me, holding me tightly so that I couldn't escape his grip
Despite his rough grip on me, I my hardest to get away. In the end all I could do was kick, scream, and threaten with the hope that someone would save me from this stranger.
The man finally got to the end of the hallway, where I was met with the sight of the woman being held down by a slightly small than her. Above the two was another woman standing over them, saying something I could really make out. By now I was in tears, desperate to know what was going on.
The woman looked to me, trying to calming me down; saying that everything would be all right. That only caused me to cry harder, fear holding my emotions in an iron like grip.
The other woman, the one standing, continued on with her little speech, whatever it was. That's the strange thing about these dreams, the only people I can hear talk is the woman and her husband. When anyone else talks, nothing ever comes out of their mouths.
The next thing I know the man is carrying me outside of the house. I screamed louder than I thought ever possible. From a distance, I saw the smaller woman twist the her neck in an almost sickening angle.
My eyes flew open, screams ripping from my throat and tears running down my face, to be grabbed by a pair of strong, warm arms. It took me a moment realize that it was one of my hyungs hugging me, trying to coax me out of the dream turned nightmare.
It was Kyungsoo, holding in me firm and yet softly. Not too far behind him were few others; Suho, Chanyeol, and of course, Sehun.
No one really said much, just the questions of if I was alright and if I wanted to bunk with one of them. I shook my head, saying that I was fine and I was just nervous about tomorrow. Though I chose to ignore it, the hyungs gave me a strange look, seeing straight through my lie. Thankfully no one said anything about it and the three went to bed. Kyungsoo, however, stayed up with me for a little longer, no saying anything, just holding me. It was rare that he would do something like this, so I just laid there and let him.
Soon my eyes started to droop as I started drifting to sleep. Absentmindedly, I felt Kyungsoo slid down in my bed, pulling my back close to his chest. Eventually, I fell asleep, the feeling of Soo's even breaths on my back and the warmth of the covers on my skin.
After that day, the hyungs and Sehun had be sticking pretty close. Asking if I had slept well, or it I was okay. I always answered positively, knowing that if I told the truth, it would only worry them more. That went on for a while, soon coming to an end. I guess the act was convincing enough.
I walked out of the dorm building, and onto the streets of Seoul, my feet guiding to my destination as I was swept away by my thoughts.
I know it might be strange, obsessing over a simple dream. But there's something about these dreams, something that made them seem less like whims produced by my subconscious and more like memories; like they actually happened.
I shook myself from my thoughts once I realized I had arrived at the river. Not that far from where I was, I saw Taemin by a light pole, half his cover by a white mask, playing on his phone.
The thought of texting to let him now I had arrived crossed my mind, but waved it off, thinking that sneaking up on him would be much more fun.
So I started walking in his direction, getting closer and closer until I was only an inch or so behind him. Sadly, Taemin turned around before I could do anything.
"Oh, hey Jongin,"greeted Taemin.
I only huffed in frustration and greeted him back.
"What's with you?" asked the older, seeing how disgruntled my stance had become.
"I was going to sneak up on you, but you turned before scare you," I whined.
Taemin giggled and put his arm around my neck, pulling me into a headlock.
"Well it serves you right. It's not nice sneaking up on your hyung like that," Taemin said, rumbling my hair.
I managed to wiggle out headlock, and playfully hit Taemin, initiating at game of chase. We ran after each other for a good while before we stopped out of energy and breath. Taking a moment to catch our breath, we ended up laughing at our antics.
"But, seriously, up what's up?" asked Taemin, still sounding a bit out of breath.
"What do you mean?" I questioned.
"Calling me out for a walk. Not something that you often," answered the older.
"I couldn't sleep," I told honestly,"had a nightmare. I just needed some fresh air, and who better to do that with than you best friend," I finished.
"They must be pretty bad then," said Taemin.
"Yeah, and the weird thing is that they feel so real, like they're memories," I admitted.
"Maybe it's just your nerves," Taemin suggested.
"Yeah, maybe," I said, more to myself then to Taemin
I guess noticed my darkened mood and quickly changed the subject.
As the hours passed by, Taemin and I had talked and laughed about numerous things. I'm really glad I called him.
We kept on walk, spotting a few cameras behind us. The fans were going to go crazy when they saw the pictures, but right now I couldn't care less.
The conversation died down to a comfortable silence,the only sounds were that of Taemin's phone as he played whatever game it was he was playing. I would said something if I hadn't had seen her. The woman from my dreams! I rubbed my eyes just to make sure I wasn't seeing things. But she was still there as clear as day, slowly walking opposite of us.
When she looked up at me, I couldn't help but stare back. I suppose it shocked her, she quickly looked away and started walking faster until she a little ways behind us. I had planned to just let her go without saying anything, but then decided against that.
I turned and yell,'Excuse me!' to the lady.
She immediately froze, shoulders becoming tense as she stood there. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was shuddering.
But then things just got weirder. Right before I could say anything else, she vanished. Not like she ran away, vanished, more like I blinked my eyes and she was gone, vanished.
At some point, Taemin noticed I wasn't by his side and turned to see what I was up to.
"Who are you talk to?" asked Taemin, looking around for someone.
"I could have sworn that there was a woman standing right over there," I answered.
"Jongin, maybe we should head back, because it seem that you're seeing things," Taemin said with a note of sarcasm.
"Taemin-hyung, I'm not joking. There was a woman!" I grumbled back.
"All right, all right, I believe you. But seriously, we should be getting back now," Taemin said, more serious this time.
"Okay," I said, then saying something about not seeing things under his breath.
So we started walking back in the direction we came. All the while, I had been thinking about what I saw. I just knew I wasn't seeing things, that was real. But what if Taemin was right, what if I'm just seeing things, what if it's my nerves, or what if I'm tried; what if...
Eventually, Taemin and I got back the place we had met up. We both said our goodbyes and went back to our dorms. I really hope that what I saw tonight was really real and not just a hallucination.
I got back to the dorm without waking anybody up. I changed into some comfortable pajamas, and got back into bed. For a little while, I just laid there waiting for sleep to wash over me; and soon it did.
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