I don’t think I can ever forget our Japan vacation. I wanted to kill him when he made me enter the haunted house telling me it was a restaurant for the famous grilled eel, but when I think back about him and his muscled arms over me, protecting me and telling me everything was fine my heart starts to beat faster than average. But still I hated him.

The secret garden, OH MY GOD, it was so beautiful, the flowers all around us it was just like we went inside a fairytale book, my heart running wild, him making cheesy but honest statements and the atmosphere the flowers brought WAAAAAAAH i don’t think I’ll get another chance at that pretty moment. When he told me that he thought I was the one, I think my intestines literally melted then, then he looked at me in the eye and told me that he didn’t need to see anything else – I just wanted to disintegrate happily.

Actually before I joined WGM I didn’t really watch every episode but as an audience I always wondered how the artists end their shooting after all the lovey dovey, do they bow to each other and say “you have worked hard” and go separate ways then act again when the camera starts recording? Or do they really have affection for each other?

When oppa and I shot the first day it was heart fluttering, even after we confirmed that we’ll be partners and the director called cut, he asked for my number and we separated with good feelings. It didn’t feel like we were acting, it was really nice -- I remember that after the director called it, we still talked and then when I was about to go he wished me to be careful and to not forget to contact him, he waved goodbye to me. But when I got home I thought that he was just being nice so didn’t expect anything at all.

But! When we were at the secret garden and the director called cut, I thought that he’ll say “you have worked hard” and bow to me, but that wasn’t the case!!!!!!  When we heard the cut and the staff was bowing to each other and greet each other and us, he was just beside me bowing as I bow to the staff too. Then when everyone was packing and I was waiting for my manager he was standing quietly behind me and I was wondering why, cause he is able to go to the hotel on his own with the staff but he wasn’t.

“oppa, aren’t you going?” I gathered courage to ask him

“hmm? Oh, how bout you? Aren’t you going?” he looked at me straight in the eyes, I guess my face was burning as I saw him smile

“ahh, im waiting for manager”

“then I’ll wait with you, the staff aren’t finished packing yet so its fine. Were all going the same direction” he nodded and looked at the staff.

In my head he was just being nice but deep inside my heart is getting electrified thinking that we’ll go to the hotel together.

My manager came running and stopped when he saw oppa still with me, I guess we were both surprised, manager looked at me his eyes questioning me, I also answered him with my eyes expressing “ I don’t know anything”

“Seungyeon ah, this place is so big I got lost going back from the bathroom, cant read any signs at all!!”

Manager huffed and puffed I only giggled and oppa smiled at manager

“lets go?” manager asked me, I nodded and manager looked at oppa

“how about you Jonghyun ah?”

“oh, can I go with you? Manager hyung is supposed to drive me back but he had to go back to the members”

“ohhhh, sure were all staying in the same hotel, its fine” manager looked at me and raised his eyebrow mockingly

“thanks!” oppa answered.

This is not the situation I thought WGM ends every shoot, I really imagined the artist going separate ways after.

When we entered the car, oh yes, were all in one car, manager insisted that Jonghyun oppa ride with us. It wasn’t uncomfortable but we didn’t have anything to talk about, when manager started the conversation

“so Jonghyun ah~ was it your first time in this amusement park?”

I looked at oppa, waiting for his answer. He looked at me then to manager

“I don’t really remember but I don’t think ive been here before” then he looked at me and smiled

“ohhhh so it was your first time with seungyeonnie, youre lucky Seungyeon ah haha”

Manager teased us

I just laughed

“did you like what I showed you?” I was shocked oppa was looking at me sincere with his question

“ahh--- oh yes!!!! I really really liked it hahaha it was very beautiful” I think my voice went higher than usual.

“that’s a relief, I really wanted to show you very big flowers so I searched for it.” He smiled his boyish smile, oh my that dimple

I blushed and looked down

“I think im still smelling flowers haha, must be crazy” oppa said and laughed

“I don’t smell any Jonghyun ah ~ your probably right, youre crazy haha. Right Seungyeon ah?” manager said

I was shocked and the two of them was waiting for my answer

“ha? Wha?? “ I didn’t know what to say then they both laughed

“youre blushing Seungyeon ah haha, youre looking like a rose! Ahhh so pretty!”

I looked at oppa, is this real? Theres no cameras here why do you keep doing that? Making me all crazy as well !!

“yah Jonghyun ah! There no cameras here stop with the cheesiness!!!” manager joked

“cant help it hyung, I keep seeing flowers and keep smelling it whenever im with Seungyeon ah ~” he looked at me again

I think my face is turning into a cherry, I can feel my face burning!!!

“haaaaigh, I don’t think I can move on from the flower scent” he sighed and looked through the window as manager drives us to the hotel.

How can he make me feel this way??

How can I get used to this?

How will my heart accept this virtual marriage if im feeling it real?

Oh my