Mikasa is injured. With a fractured rib. And lying on bed, for which I was not accustomed to.

I rarely see her this inactive, for she was always on the go. Be it household chores or on military duty, Mikasa was always going up and about. It just... broke my heart to see her ineffective like this.

And she's asleep, exhausted. And me, guarding her so no one could visit her without my permission.

But wait, why am I being protective here? I know I could let Armin in... But why am I acting this way?

Is it because of what she said to me when we faced that f***ing Titan that ate my mother and Mr. Hannes? The way she said it... sounds like a love confession. And she leaned closer to... kiss me.

Does Mikasa love me? Does she? If she is in love with me, I... I don't know what to do. I am not ready for this.

I am not ready to know within myself if I feel the same way too. Sure, I love Mikasa because she's my foster sister, but since when did her feelings change for me? Why did I never see it?

I know I care for her too. I bare-handedly fought the smiling Titan without me in a gear, or without me transforming into the Titan. I just remembered having my arms completely regenerated, and promising her to wrap the scarf around her as many times as I need to, from that time onwards. I am tired of having her protect me all the time. It's my turn to protect her. And protecting her, I did. It's payback time, Mikasa. I protect you like you always did for me.

We kept each other alive, and we will continue to. Because we care for each other. We will continue to care for each other, whether or not I will reciprocate your feelings. I cannot tell if I will also fall in love with you, but I know that I love you.

Mikasa, you may think I don't care a damn about you because I was always being rude to you. But deep inside, I really do care about you. Just don't make me examine the feelings that I am not ready to tackle yet.

I hold her hand, but not a response. Well, maybe she's already somewhere in Dreamland, recuperating for the things that happened, and preparing for things that may come.

I touch her hair. It's getting some centimeters longer, but it'll do. It will still do. I am glad she took my advice of cutting off her long hair.

Her long hair...

I remembered the dream I had before Wall Maria fell. I could not remember the long dream, but the last thing I remembered before I woke up was Mikasa having short hair. It will make sense that I could dream anything about everyone about having their hair long, or wearing some black boots. Sure, it wasn't really a big deal of me dreaming of Mikasa having short hair, right?

But letting her see me cry without me knowing why I cried to begin with after waking up, was that a premonition? Did I dream that Mikasa will eventually sport her hair short?

But whether long hair or short hair, Mikasa will always be Mikasa, and that's all that will matter to me. I hope she will get well.

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Up next, Connie after the Ragako incident. That part made me cry too.

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