A critique of my own critique.  

It has been 8 months since I first published my previous discussion piece. I have (re)-read that particular piece and I can say now that a lot of my feelings and views have changed. Or evolved? Regardless of how it is phrased, I wanted to engage with that piece, now from a different perspective and be more critical of the very position I took those 8 months ago.

Firstly, I would like to speak on points of that piece which I now do not agree with, particularly with how I phrased my argument. Having (re)- read the piece, I see now that in it I conflated the idea of fanfiction and its use of real people with fanfiction and its use of the persona of presented to us as manufactured by celebrities and idols management. By not distinguishing these two very different aspects, the argument I presented is filled with contradictions and at times defensive claims. Moreover, an even dangerous framing.

For example, in the piece, I stated that many people who write fanfiction use as a way to either grapple with their ualities or express them. But I do not agree with that anymore because I think its more complicated than that. Especially with how some of our fanfictions present very damaging stereotypes towards already marginalized groups. And here, I need to take accountability myself, within my own works. I was (re)-reading the work I wrote called Stardust. And it is a story that has Chaeyoung as a futa/transual character. Unfortunately, I didn’t write it in a way that explores any of the issues regarding trans experiences even though there are hints to it but none are explicit.

Because the focus of that story itself is the between the two female characters. Nothing else really. And looking at it now, I am aware that such work is problematic in regards to the way in which trans (re)-presentation is handled in mainstream platforms and non-mainstream platforms. I do not want to reduce trans individuals fan-fictional or not to only the way in which they can be imagined as ual objects. In my opinion, there is something problematic with that because of the very historical complexity of trans experiences and the subject of . Thus, I’d like to apologise for that. It is wrong. And though I do believe there should be room for fantasy and imaginative purposes, the way in which it is done within fanfiction is problematic.

Furthermore, I have definitely commented and enjoyed other stories like that (g!p, futa etc) and now that I have learnt and unlearnt some things and continue to do so, I know that for me personally the way in which I enjoyed this type of ualisation was strange. With my main issue being the over-ualisation of these types of stories, with it almost always being in the category of fanfiction. Stardust included. It is problematic and I think there’s an interesting discussion to be had there. Furthermore, in the previous piece I stated that fanfiction allows for the fans to engage positively with the lack of diverse ual orientation (re)-presentation within kpop. On this point I am conflicted because to a certain extent I can see what I meant but on the other aspect some of these stories do project negative stereotypes (inadvertently and not) upon varying ual orientations. I think this occurs in a lot of fanfiction, beyond just kpop.

Meaning that there really are fanfiction stories that present better narratives than some published books and are transformative in how they are framed. But I believe this is not the norm but the exception. I think that generally, well I can only speak from a kpop fanfic perspective, that most are littered with negative stereotypes and abusive characters without expansion on what their actions may mean. And though it could be argued that fanfics aren’t meant to be taken seriously, I think that perhaps they should. A lot of children (under 18) are reading these stories, which is another thing that makes me uncomfortable, but yeah what are the implications of young kids reading these stories where a relationship that is inherently abusive is presented as “love” under the guise of a “ship”? I think, we mistake ourselves in how much everything we read, stays with us subconsciously especially when we are younger. At the end of the day I do not want be a part of perpetuating these same negative stereotypes without being critical of them. Not anymore.

Which brings me to fanfiction and its use of real people with fanfiction and its use of the persona of presented to us as manufactured by celebrities and idols management.  I will start with the latter.

1. Fanfiction and its use of the persona presented to us as manufactured by celebrities and idols management

• Personally, I have always written my own fanfiction from this perspective. Where I wrote the fanfiction with the idea of the manufactured persona presented to me and not the actual person who is the "idol". I do not know anyone from Blackpink, I do not believe any of them are dating each other and I know that what is presented to the public of them is only a miniscule percentage of who they really are as people. The persona of the “idol” known as Rosé in Blackpink is understood to be soft, looks like a chipmunk, is bubbly and sweet and a whole bunch of other things fans have projected on to this idea of Rosé. The persona of the “idol” Jennie in Blackpink is understood as a “bad ”, y, cat-like, cute, has swag and other things fans have projected on to this idea of Jennie. And its many of these traits and adjectives that are stated in fanfics of them.

• But I do not believe this is who the actual Roseanne Park Chaeyoung and Kim Jennie are. It may be an abstraction of some of the traits they have and presented to us but its not truly them. I do not know them. They do not know me. And I enjoy that. I can appreciate how these personas are used creatively for the overall production of the work made by the group. I understand that the persona is not the real person and it is the persona in which I write the fanfiction from. I do not know if that makes sense. I tried to articulate as best as I could. All of it is just a show, a presentation, entertainment. And I like to believe that many people who engage in fanfics view it this way too. Understand the difference between the two. But that is not to say that things do not get conflated.

2. Fanfiction and its use of real people.

• Despite the above, actually with the above in mind, these are real people. And I can only imagine what it must take to separate oneself from the persona to who you actually are and maybe that even getting muddled. I will not lie, but it makes me uncomfortable to think that any of the Blackpink members have read my work. Lol, I hope they have not. And I think I feel this way because I know that they are real people, behind the personas presented to us. And its easy to forget this. Its easy to get lost in our fantasies and for some it gets to the point where they really do believe the fictions created by various authors. It may not make sense to you or I, but some fans really do believe some of their “ships” are real in the romantic sense. And even if they were, I still think that our gaze as fans on such a relationship would be filled with a lot of uninformed assumptions.

• Thus, my question is do kpop fanfictions do enough to make this distinction between these two ideas? Should a distinction even be made? If so how and would people care? When I (re)-read my works and other fics I think of such questions a lot.  Especially as a writer within the genre itself.  There are many other things in my own fanfics that I read now and I’m like “what the ?” because I can see now that the I wrote is highkey crazy lol. But before I expand on my own views of my own works let me continue on to some of the previous piece points that I do still see as valid.

Firstly, the critique I provided on the way uality, femininity- masculinity are marketed in kpop does still hold. I still think the way in which groups are marketed in regards to these categories has created conflicting trends and issues that may or may not play a role in why kpop is not as “global” as many may expect it to be. It will be interesting to see how this will evolve with newer groups going forward in the increasing globalized international context.  Furthermore, in the piece I raised some very interesting questions that I think are still great discussion points. Also the issue of the discrimination of queerness in the industry but the appropriation of it in certain marketing campaigns points to what I think is a good take away from that piece. Which is the role of capitalism, marketing and business. I think the kpop industry is more industry than “kpop” in many ways and also I think we do not know enough about this very particular industry component.

But yeah, that’s how I feel at the moment. These are my own thoughts, nothing more. I may (re)-read this in four months or a year and have an even more different perspective. But I enjoy self-critique and being able to engage in the growth or even lack thereof of my own thinking. It’s a difficult skill but when I read the piece, I was like, wow, I need to respond to myself because, its not what it is anymore.  And its not going to be so in the future either. And really I am okay with that.