kano - daybreak frontline

he remembers how the sunset looked that day, the pale amber light washing over the world like a layer of thin, sheer gossamer. everything shimmered-- or maybe that was because memories always glittered like gold.

gold... yes, that was how he saw him, pure gold. he had an aura about him, one that naturally drew others in, something about the way he held his head high, something about how he didn't care what others thought of him. later, he'd find out that it was only a facade; he cared, perhaps a little too much.

or maybe he himself was the one who didn't care enough. he'd always been that kind of person, after all. one could call him straightfoward, or one could call him naive; what he wanted to express, he would express, even if it might go against societal standards, even if it might ruin him...

FULL NAME son moonhwan 손문환
NICKNAMES

❛ hwan / hwannie / hwan-ah: derivatives of name

❛ hamster: used to have chubby cheeks as a kid

BIRTHDATE may 9th, 1999

BIRTHPLACE busan, korea
HOMETOWN jeju city, korea

ETHNICITY korean

NATIONALITY korean

LANGUAGES SPOKEN

❛ korean 100%; self-explanatory

❛ english 50%; mandatory classes in school, knows enough to survive in an english-speaking country

HEIGHT 180 cm

WEIGHT 75 kg

APPEARANCE his hair is currently brown and his roots are growing back. he has a mole on the outer corner of his right eye and a large round scar on his left knee. he has his ears pierced but the holes have since closed up. (pls lmk if you need anything else! i typically don't deviate from faceclaim much.)

STYLE moonhwan likes to wear t-shirts, flannels/sweatshirts/hoodies, jeans, and sneakers (like converse or vans). he always wears a green jade bead bracelet on his left hand because his mother gave it to him for his 18th birthday. other than this, he doesn't wear accessories. sometimes, when he needs to go to class, he wears round wire-frame glasses for the aesthetic. all in all, the wardrobe of a dude who cares slightly about his appearance but not too much.

FACECLAIM (formerly) up10tion's hwanhee

BACK UP FC sf9's hwiyoung

TRAITS 
+ loyal, motherly, humorous, thoughtful
= whimsical, empathetic
- impatient, rash, violent, moody
extras: taurus, infp

PERSONALITY 
first off, moonhwan is loyal. if he likes you and you've gained his trust, he'll follow you to the ends of the world. this isn't always great, though, since he could get involved with bad people... usually, of course, he has enough common sense to tell who he should and shouldn't be friends with. he's also the resident mom friend, and he will smother his friends in affection, whether or not they want it. he genuinely cares about people, and he'll take time out of his own schedule to listen to their problems. he'll help try to solve them too, and he'll try to give them advice on how to deal with it. he's the kind of person to notice the small details, like how badly does that injury actually hurt, oh you like this coffee order, this person likes to talk out problems and that person wants to be alone, etc. he remembers the small details and tries to make his friends' lives that much better by catering to them specifically. he's also quite cheerful and has a strong sense of humor. of course, sometimes he means to tell a joke but the way he words it makes it seem strange so no one laughs :((. but fr, if someone ever needs a pick-me-up, they can go to moonhwan and he'll try his best to make them laugh ("a man showed up to a duel with nothing but paper and a pencil. he then proceeded to DRAW his weapon").

unfortunately, he is also not a very patient person. he hates repeating things he's already said ('it's not my fault you weren't listening') and if he was going to do something (like chores) but then someone else told him to do it, he won't do it anymore. petty kid lol. he's also quite rash and makes on-the-whim decisions. oh, you didn't apologize to me after you accidentally bumped into me? usually not a big deal but today i'm in a bad mood so you wanna go??? when he's in a bad mood, he can make terrible self-destructive decisions. surprisingly, moonhwan is actually quite violent when he's angry... ironic for a sweet mom friend. he's already ready to fiteTM and actually, he can hold his own pretty well (i mean, he DOES have two older brothers). he's not too bad at fighting and knows how to use the surroundings to his advantage, but of course, being violent isn't necessarily a good thing, so he usually tries not to be. adding on to this, his mood literally changes like lightning and he'll sulk by himself for a long time if no one notices. the positive thing about this is that he often becomes cheerful again very quickly as well.

usually, though, moonhwan just gives off the vibe of an absentminded, airheaded kid. he can be fairly whimsical and just talk about the randomest things ("do you think plants can fall in love with us? why are dreams so realistic when we've never experienced those events before?"). he enjoys some deep talk, but the downside to that is he usually feels sad afterwards ;; (nothing a good sleep can't fix tho). he's very empathetic and while this is usually a good thing, some people use this to take advantage of his kindness. as an example, he often falls for sob-story scams.

BACKGROUND 
moonhwan's mother divorced his cheating father right after giving birth to moonhwan. now a single mother, she moved back to her hometown of jeju city. her parents were happy to have their daughter back and set up up with work at their family restaurant. although the entire family was always busy, their neighbors were quite kind; since they also had a son around her older sons' ages, they often helped out by taking care of the kids and basically became their second family. thus, moonhwan grew up loved by his mom, his brothers, his grandparents, his auntie and uncle, and of course, kim jiho.

currently, he is pursuing a master's degree in english literature in seoul. his mother is still working at the family restaurant and is even busier than before since his grandparents decided to take a step back due to their old age.

i think that's pretty much it. moonhwan's a boring kid lol. more details are in the 'our story' section.  

LIKES

❛ sunny/windy weather
❛ the color orange, like the sunset
❛ cats
❛ autumn
❛ sleeping in until 12pm

DISLIKES

❛ rain
❛ birds
❛ cleaning the bathroom
❛ extreme temperatures (anything beyond 50-80 degrees)
❛ math

HOBBIES

❛ listening to music
❛ reading fiction
❛ looking up random facts on the internet

HABITS

❛ chews his lip when he's thinking
❛ his hands have to be holding smth or else he'll pick at his skin
❛ hums to himself when he's spacing out
❛ likes to put his hands in his back pockets

TRIVIAS

❛ he often feels like he's talentless compared to his brothers
❛ he's scared of bugs and small spaces
❛ he likes to crack his fingers
❛ has very fast metabolism and is always hungry
❛ favorite food: potato swirl hotdogs
❛ likes rock music
❛ he used to feed stray cats but was traumatized after seeing one of them get run over by a car
❛ is lactose intolerant but still consumes dairy because that
❛ his clothing is almost all hand-me-downs
❛ he has perfect pitch but doesn't have any way to showcase it

CASTING INTERVIEW

NICE TO MEET YOU, PLEASE INTRODUCE YOURSELF!

— hi, my name is son moonhwan, and i'm currently a master's student.
— hello. i'm kim jiho.

HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS DOCUMENTARY? 

— i saw a poster in the hallway of the academic building i usually go to. originally, i thought it was a scam, but the poster looked legit and i'm always willing to help out a fellow student.
— i didn't know about it until the crew contacted me.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS DOCUMENTARY?

— i think it's because... hesitates for a long time i think it's because i can't let go of him. we grew up together, and i thought we were going to be friends forever... trails off

by the time i realized what i felt towards him, it was already too late. he's slightly older than me, so he could already be married, but i wanted to put it [his feelings] out there, for closure for myself.

— you know, at first, i thought for sure that this was some weird new scam, so i wasn't going to do it at all. but something, i don't know what, compelled me to call back. i guess maybe i... he cuts off and doesn't say anything more

(what he wanted to say but couldn't put into words: he's not really happy with the life he's living and knows deep down inside that he can't live truly happily until he comes to terms with his uality and his childhood crush.)

DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW

HELLO, PLEASE INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO THE CAMERA!

— hi, my name is son moonhwan, i'm 24, and i'm a master's student studying english literature.
— hello, i'm kim jiho. i'm currently a financial analyst.

HOW DID YOU TWO MEET?

— we were neighbors. my family was quite busy since we run a restaurant, and my dad isn't in the picture, so the neighbors stepped in and helped out with us kids. we grew up together, almost like brothers, except i was always chasing after him.
— um... our families were neighbors. nods, almost like he's recalling forgotten memories if i remember correctly, their family wasn't super well-off, and they had to worry about running a restaurant on top of caring for three children. my parents wanted to help them out, and so... shrugs that's how we met.

WHY DID YOU WANT TO MEET THEM AGAIN?

— hesitates briefly i didn't know that what i felt for him was love until i had grown up and he had already left. he never came back home, but i hoped that one day we would meet again and i could at least get closure. it didn't matter if he was married or what, i just wanted some closure.
— shakes his head i don't know, i guess it was just... trails off something told me to do this. there's a reason i left my hometown. but i guess i trust my instincts, and my instincts told me to do this.
 

WHEN DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU ALREADY LOVE THEM?

— when he moved away for university. when i wasn't constantly seeing him every day anymore, i realized that he had left a gaping hole in my chest. it wasn't like we saw each other every day anyway, but knowing that i couldn't just look out the window and see the light in his room... it was like a epiphany. and i've been striving to catch up to him ever since.
— turns red, looks away from the camera i love him like a brother. i... i'm sorry to him, but i don't... stays silent for a long time i can't love him the way he wants me to.

(what's going on inside his mind: still trying to deny his uality and his feelings; by this point, he's pretty aware of both, but he's still struggling to accept the facts.)

HAVE YOU LOVED SOMEONE SINCE YOU TWO PARTED? 

— not romantically, no. i tried to, when i first entered college, i tried to make myself fall in love with a pretty girl or a hot dude, but i just couldn't do it.
— pauses ah, yes. i currently have a girlfriend. we met because we were also... neighbors.

(what he wanted to say: no, i'm not really in love with her, but she helped me and she's kind and doesn't mind that i don't want to get too deeply involved in a relationship, and it's convenient to have a coverup for the fact that i am a raging homoual.)

IF YOU'RE GIVEN ANOTHER CHANCE, WOULD YOU RECONSIDER BE WITH THEM AGAIN?

— yes, of course he sounds slightly desperate but it depends on him. i wouldn't want to force him into anything he doesn't want to do.
— is silent for a long time sorry? oh. no. no, i don't... i don't think so. no.

(what he wanted to say: yes, but i feel like it's too late now. i don't know if i have the courage to come out, to ruin my boring-but-normal life, and i don't even know if i'd end up hurting you anyway. i can't risk it, but i wish i had the courage to.)

WHAT DID YOU FEEL DURING THE ENTIRE FILMING?

— i was... slowly, not looking at the cameraexcited, nervous, a little bit hopeful, slightly sad, and slightly relieved. i was sad because i realized that... looks into the camerai was stuck in my memories. he has his own life, one without me in it, and i need to respect that. but i was also relieved because i realized this, and now i can... shrugs self-deprecatinglymove on? i guess? i don't know, i need some more time to process my emotions.
— i was mostly nervous. i left without warning, and i know he used to look up to me, and then i found out he... almost a whisper liked me... normal volume so i thought he might hate me. i'm coughs a few times i'm glad that we met up, though. i'm glad we got a chance to talk it out.

DO YOU SEE YOURSELF SEEING EACH OTHER AGAIN AFTER THIS DOCUMENTARY?

— i hope so, but i'm not sure. i'll try to reach out, but like i said, he... has his own life, and i need to accept that.
— sure, sure, why not it's obvious he's trying to appear chill when he's not chill at all i wouldn't be opposed to it.

(what they both wanted to say: yes, but i'm afraid he'll push me away, and then it'll make me feel even worse, so even though i want to, i don't think we will.)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY TO THEM?

— jiho-hyung. looks down briefly thank you for being a great hyung to me. i know my childhood wouldn't have nearly as exciting or fun or colorful without you. thank you for giving me this opportunity to see you again, and... hesitates but smiles; it's obvious he's forcing the smile i hope you find your happiness!
— hey, moonhwan. looks visibly awkward thanks for bringing me onto this documentary. honestly, i wasn't sure what to expect from it, but it's been a... hesitates a really interesting experience. i'm glad i could find out how you felt, and i'm sorry that i can't give you what you want. but, um, yeah, i wish you all the best, and feel free to contact me at any time. nods several times in a row

(what he wanted to say, having mostly accepted his feelings now: i love you, i've been in love with you for so long, but you deserve someone better. you deserve someone who won't play with anyone's feelings, especially yours, and someone mentally stable, and that person isn't me.)

OUR STORY 

for moonhwan, it begins with kim jiho's hand on his, squeezing gently as he kicked and giggled at the young face above him. the boy turned, yelling something. the noise hurt his ears and he began to cry. the face turned around, concerned, soothing him as best as a four-year-old could.

the middle of the story is like any typical story with childhood friends who grew up together. he followed jiho around like a tail, always wanting to do the same things and play the same games, as if jiho was his own brother. although it was clear that the older boy wanted to hang out more with moonhwan's actual brothers, jiho let him follow them around, even standing up for him despite moonshin and moonyeon's complaints..

but once jiho grew up, it was uncool for a middle schooler to hang out with a kid still in elementary school, especially since they saw each other so often at home anyway. moonhwan felt jiho pushing him away, but he considered him as part of his family and didn't want to lose his oldest and closest friend, so he kept hanging onto him, which only made jiho push him away more.

by the time jiho was in high school, they had pretty much stopped talking, even though they were neighbors. even their parents commented on it, but moonhwan glossed it over with 'we have new friends now' or 'oh, we're just separately busy'. but whenever he saw jiho walking home with his high school friends, or talking with moonshin (who moved away soon enough for university) or moonyeon, or whenever they made eye contact and jiho looked away and pretended like they didn't know each other, moonhwan felt his chest constricting.

it took him until jiho moved to seoul for university to realize that the years of familiarity and affection had somehow turned into romantic yearning and even a little bit of possessiveness. he knew jiho was a good guy, and he knew that he deserved someone who loved him a lot, even if it wasn't moonhwan himself, but he still wanted to give it a shot. he didn't want to give up without trying. so he studied hard to try to chase after him, but by the time moonhwan got into a university in seoul, jiho had already graduated and stopped contacting anyone from home.

that's when it ended, or so moonhwan thought, with late-night tears in the privacy of his dorm room and getting drunk in the school parking lot to try to forget. needless to say, it didn't work, but life moves on. moonhwan tried hard to focus on academics, and he even tried to date other people, but nothing could fill that void in his chest. although he tried to convince himself that he had moved on, he decided to stay in seoul for a master's degree, secretly hoping in his heart that he could somehow run into jiho but pure coincidence. he didn't find him, but he did find maeum and company.

so does it end like this?

---

for jiho, it begins with a chubby baby, the youngest of his new next-door friends. like any normal four-year-old, he wasn't interested in the baby because it was a new existence; he was interested in it because it was just new. during their very first meeting, he squeezed the baby's hand, then turned to call his mom over to 'look at him!' and made the baby cry. panicking, he tried to calm him down as best as he could, but eventually, one of the adults came and took him away.

in general, jiho hung out with moonhwan's elder brothers more, especially moonshin, whom he looked up to. but when moonhwan grew old enough to tag along when they played, he didn't mind the little kid's presence. his brothers found him annoying (as brothers do), but jiho convinced them that it wouldn't hurt to bring him along as well. maybe it was because he was an only child, or maybe it was because he wanted moonshin to praise him for being such a nice kid, but regardless, he had a soft spot for moonhwan.

in middle school, through a series of revelations that included watching a gay classmate get bullied for being gay, he eventually came to a realization: he was also gay, and moreover, he was in love with moonshin, moonhwan's eldest brother. he began to distance himself from the entire family, disgusted with his own feelings, throwing everything into studying, which he used as an excuse.

at the same time, to cover up the truth, he began to date girls. all of his relationships throughout high school only lasted about a year, and he cycled through girlfriends like he was a boy (he was not), which earned him a reputation as a womanizer, even though he tried his best to be respectful towards women.

when moonshin left for college, jiho heaved a breath of relief. he thought he could finally be free of his awful, ungodly feelings. as long as he couldn't see moonshin, he wouldn't have feelings for him, right? but to his horror, he suddenly realized something... moonshin still had two brothers in this town. he could avoid moonyeon (they weren't super close in the first place, and they didn't have many mutual friends), but try as he might, he couldn't avoid moonhwan, the enthusiastic kid who seemed to pop up everywhere to talk to him.

he didn't know if he was just compensating for losing contact with his first love (maybe he just needed someone to transfer the feelings to), but he started to look at moonhwan in the same way he'd looked at his older brother: romantically. and it disgusted him even more (moonhwan was just a kid! he didn't deserve a ert mooning over him!). so he stayed at school later and later, dated more girls and made sure everyone knew it, to try and forget the 'fact' that he was a disgusting who couldn't even keep his feelings in control.

when it was his time to leave for college, jiho thought this would be the end of everything. he thought he would be okay now that he left his hometown and everyone he knew behind. and for a while, he was. he made friends in university, he studied hard and got good grades, he stayed at school over the summer and took summer classes and even graduated a year early. everything was going fine until then. he was very lucky to get accepted at the first job he interviewed for, a finance firm. that was when found out that his mentor was none other than his old crush, moonshin.

suddenly, all of his repressed feeling rebounded, but he found with the utmost surprise that he actually no longer harbored feelings for moonshin. instead, he kept seeing moonhwan in that familiar face, in his familiar voice, and every word moonshin spoke to him ripped his heart apart. of course, he couldn't say that to moonshin, but who else could he tell? that first year was the worst time of his entire life, and he spent most of it drinking in hopes of drowning those feelings.

very quickly, this blossomed into alcoholism, and he cut off everyone in his life except for his parents, and he tried to act normal in their weekly video calls. he struggled for a year with alcohol, living every day like it was his last, until a kind neighbor found him passed out in front of his door and sent him to the hospital. there, she visited him every day and brought him food, encouraged him to go to therapy and [korean version of AA], and slowly, he began to recover.

it took until he was 26 to finally re-establish contact with the people he'd cut off. unfortunately, during this time, jiho still did not manage to accept his uality, even though he had discussed it briefly in therapy (the therapist tried, but he couldn't get over the shame). he became good friends with the kind neighbor and started to date her, purely out of repayment and almost like a cover for his uality, as he didn't have anything except platonic feelings towards her. he didn't want to get married, and she was okay with that; their relationship was careful and respectful, sometimes overly so, and jiho knew that she deserved someone better.

but if she was happy, and he was content, then that was enough... right?

FULL NAME kim jiho 김지호
NICKNAMES

❛ hojicha (japanese roasted green tea) - for the phonetics

❛ bunny - when he was younger, he had a lot of energy and liked to jump around

❛ jiwo - a mistake that child-moonhwan made, and only he ever uses it

BIRTHDATE feb 7, 1995

BIRTHPLACE jeju city, korea
HOMETOWN jeju city, korea

ETHNICITY korean

NATIONALITY korean

APPEARANCE he's quite petite even for an asian dude (167cm, 68kg). he used to dye his hair crazy colors and would still be open to it now, except nowadays, since he works at a finance firm, he usually keeps his natural black hair or dyes it a neutral shade of brown. like faceclaim, he has a prominent mole on his right cheekbone. like fc, he also has a series of bird tattoos on his forearm, easily covered up by long sleeves.

STYLE since he's short, he tries to dress to appear taller (light shirt tucked in, dark straight pants, platform shoes). however, he actually secretly prefers oversized sweatshirts and sweatpants and wants to be able to wear them without judgement (in reality, no one's judging him but himself). he has a unique love for bucket hats and beanies, but they make his hair all frizzy so he doesn't wear them often.

FACECLAIM ikon's jinhwan

BACK UP FC nuest's jr

PERSONALITY stubborn and strong-willed, jiho's not someone who easily backs down from a challenge. he pushes himself to his limits and often disregards his own wellbeing because of it. he's highly logical and intelligent but lacks a lot of self-awareness about his own feelings. or rather, he's scared of what he may realize about himself so he never delves deep inside. although he never intends to be, he is quite charismatic and draws attention to himself by exuding an aura of confidence. however, he can be short-tempered, snappy, and sarcastic, and everyone in the office knows to avoid jiho when he's in a bad mood.

BACKGROUND jiho was born and raised in jeju city, growing up with practically three brothers (the son kids from next door). his life was pretty typical, except in middle school he happened to witness the bullying of a gay classmate, whereupon he realized with dawning horror that he was gay and in fact had a crush on one of his brotherly friends (moonshin). then he realized he wasn't in love with moonshin, he was in love with the youngest brother, moonhwan. this realization tortured him for the rest of his time in jeju, and he moved away to seoul as soon as he could to try and escape this part of him.

unfortunately, three years later, when he graduated early from university, he started to work at the same company as moonshin, and this made reignited the things he'd been trying to run away from, sending him spiralling into alcoholism and depression. it took several years and the help of a kind neighbor for him to recover, and although he is now dating the kind neighbor (lee mihan; fc: omg's hyojung), he's not sure that he's really living a happy life.

when the crew of wma contacted him, jiho wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to attend. in fact, he never wanted to think about his uality again. but something in him really compelled him to agree, and he asked his gf if it was okay for him to appear. she was fine with it (in fact, she had noticed that he didn't seem like he was living his best life and wanted to help him find a way to do so), so here we are.

LIFESTYLE jiho works as a financial consultant at a finance firm. he wakes up at 7am on workdays, gets to work by 8am, works until his lunch break at 12pm, then works until 4pm. he gets home and eats dinner by 6pm (he usually cooks for himself but sometimes his gf brings food over, or he'll order takeout). the rest of his night is spent relaxing (watching tv shows, reading, etc) until he goes to bed at 10-12 (depends on his mood).

on weekends, he usually gets up at 9-10am, catches up on work (the grind never stops) or does something relaxing (watching tv or playing video games or something fun). occasionally, his gf will stop in and they'll go out, or hang out but do their own separate things (parallel play lmao). he likes to take baths on weekends rather than showers.

TRIVIAS 
❛ likes fruit (especially berries)
❛ usually listens to classical music
❛ he prefers cold, sunny weather
❛ he wants to own a cat but doesn't feel responsible enough
❛ doesn't like candy or overly sweet foods
❛ he gets motion sickness very easily
❛ doesn't like zucchini and squash
❛ is almost always tired
❛ likes to sing in the shower
❛ taps his fingers on leg when nervous
❛ likes to cook, decent at it
❛ is learning guitar from youtube videos
❛ has a fear of the ocean and snakes
❛ his favorite color is yellow
❛ he likes going to high places and looking out at the world

COMMENTS HELLO i just wanted to say this is such a cute idea and i really hope you get lots of applicants!! i finished this app in a rush so pls lmk if anything needs to be elaborated on lol i'm sure there's lots.

SCENE SUGGESTIONS

- i'm not sure there was a space to put this but in the end, i'd like for jiho to break up with his gf peacefully, having realized that he can't keep living a lie, and re-establish hesitant contact with moonhwan (and the other brothers). i don't think i'd like for them to get together just yet, but it'd be nice if they were on the way to doing so!!

- i'd like it if jiho's gf realized sometime within the timeframe of the filming that he was gay; how she reacts is up to you, but as mentioned before, i'd like for their breakup to be peaceful hahaha

- i think jiho's parents reaction to his alcoholism (if he chooses to talk about it on the doc) would be interesting; they're not exactly helicopter parents but they certainly wouldn't have expected it from him

- also, i think getting moonshin on the doc would be SUPER interesting for the dynamics LOL even though jiho's moved on from him, i'm sure it'd still be sort of awkward...

- speaking of that, i don't think jiho would come out in the doc, but it'd be interesting to see reactions to moonhwan's coming out (from the general public, his family and friends, etc)