I've been a  fan for more than five years now. You have been an important part of my life. You are a constant in my everyday life. I always listen to your songs, I feel like my day won't be complete without hearing your voices. I sometimes cry myself to sleep thinking how perfect you are to me. You have brought a great amount of hoy and happiness to me. I have been a part of your ups and down. I may not there physically but knowing that you are hurting, it hurts me as well. Us fans always say that we will never you no matter what happens, we will support in whatever decision you make because we are your fans. We love you for who you are, we care for you unconditionally and we think of you inevitably.

I know that you treasure your fans truly and you always do everythibg to make us happy. You were scared before that your fans are starting to leave, fade and forget about you. It kind of hurts that you doubted us. But I can't blame you, we all have our insecurities. Please know that we nay not be the fandom out there but we love you the best.

One of your members is getting married today as I'm typing this. Do you know that I'm listening to SS1's audio files? I've already cried before. I thought that if I cry it all out, I will be okay after that. I stop thinking about this day, hoping that I am just dreaming that I will wake up soon and everything will be back to normal, the way its supposed to be. But it seems like fate is not on my sude because everything is real and everything is happening.

Earlier this morning, around one in the morning, I got online. I completely forgot that it's already the day I'm dreading for. And when I saw a friend's post about your wedding... I just started crying. I didn't even notice it, to be honest, until my tears landed on my lips. I cried and cried tht time. I got myself a fever, . 

I know I am just a fan, there is nothing I can do to change anything. I even told myself that if my cries will change your mind, I wouldn't hesitate to cry for a whole day, even a whole week. I'm so desperate, huh. But seriously, not all fans are as matured and as strong as others think we are. We have our weakness and limitation and maybe loving so much is one of them. Agape, I guess you can call it that way. But did you know that unrequited love is the strongest of all... because we love without expecting anything in return. We love without conditions and we live selflessly.

But you said you have found a good person, a person that you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. You have already found your love. You must be so happy. And you must have felt burdened as well because of the different reactions you have received. Did you also know that it's raining so hard right now in my country? That could be my unshed tears, for all I know.

Everything happened so fast. Within two months, I felt that my five years of loving you, everything crumbled. Loving isn't anyone's fault. We should not be sorry for loving.

Am I making sense right now? I'm sorry, my mind is juat in a mess. Ahyu~ but what can I do? I am still and just a fan. Here to admire you from afar.

Just... be happy, okay? You must live happily. She must be so important that you went against all odds just to be happy with her. Please be happy. You must not regret your decision. It'll just hurt us even more if you're not going to be happy. 

I am letting you go now... you're big enough to take care if yourself, right? I cannot promise anything but I will try my best and be happy for you. Even though it hurts (I swear, it still ing hurts as hell), I will try my best to be happy for you. 

I hope I can move on and come back again. I hope I can love again just like how I loved you years ago. I hope I can look at you again and feel no hurt nor pain. I love you, Lee Sungmin.