Hello

Sorry I haven't updated in a while,there's a ton of stuff of going on in my life that I need to get through with.

The only reasons why I have issues is because I am over emotional and I don't know anymore... Recently, I've noticed that I am fragile, that I can't take criticism well. I can take critism but I depends on what kind of critism. I think I just have a fragile heart, I also think my over emotional self is caused by all the stress of school. 

To explain my over emotional self, I have been wondering what the meaning of life is. I wonder everyday why humans are on earth, why we are here, why am I alive, and so on. 

I think I have been having these thoughts because of a book I have been reading, it's kind of a funny story. It's a really good book, but it has to do with depression and stress, so I think that's where I got my thoughts from. Sometimes I really just wonder though, why am I alive? 

So when I say "I don't know anymore", I mean that I don't know what to say or what to feel. I mean it's strange I feel perfectly fine but, what is she feeling? So I am talking about alora (this is so weird saying this... My crush). She is my everything, she's  is so beautiful, she makes my day. She's no negative about herself, I just want her toffees good about herself. I want her to feel that she is good, that she is worth it. 

I really want to tell her, I want to tell her I am interested in her, but I can't. We are so close. Would is ruin our friendship? I had a plan before to tell her I was attracted to girls, but I didn't have the courage. I'm a coward, a silly coward who won't be true to herself with others... Wow, I am great.

So, basically what's happening recently is school, Alora and softball. That's all I ever think about, except for kpop, I still love kpop... Kpop is my only getaway in my strange life. And I am glad that there is such a thing to exist. 

Goodbye, I have to sleep now. Have a good day/afternoon/night/sleep/morning/whatever time of day it is for you. ;) <3