I'm seriously sick bottling up my emotions inside.

there's a reason why I felt tired, all day, all the time.
maybe that's one of the reason, but the main reason is, I'm really sick of people telling me that I can't and I'm not capable of this and that. I'm sick and tired of all of those, I'm sick being the only one who they threw under the bus, claiming I can't do anything in my life, if that doesn't enough of a reason why I'm tired all day, all the time, there are another. those people is the one that I'm close by, they're around me all the time, those people really sicken me up with their emotions, yell, and all those tantrum and s. why am I tired? why?

I always thought, maybe it will be better if I'm gone, just go die, just go kill myself, and then I realized.
that it's not just now. those thought is always there since I don't know when, maybe it was four or five, or six or seven, but that thought of be gone, die, was always there with me.

I thought it was stupid, I never really can bring myself to kill myself because of course it was silly of me if I do that.

But I'm tired.

and it's not my dream that makes me tired, the one who makes me tired is people around me.

how I wish I could go away catching my dream without those people around me. I will do better without those people who claim that "I can't".

they want me to do this, they want me to do that, they want me to be this, to be that.

all that I could do is ignoring those.

why?

because I don't feel like being that.

they want me to work as an ordinary people.

but I don't want that, I have a bigger dream, I have an ambition, I have a goal to fill!

WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

and you, who told me I can't,

you don't know me well.

what kind of people telling you "can't"

they're clearly didn't see your efforts.

though, this is my life, and I want to be what I want to be.

I don't want to be someone who wasn't me,
I want to be happy with myself, I want too see myself try as hard I as I can and I won't give up till I got what I want.

If you can't see that,  I will help you see that in the future, because I can see that.

I can see myself in the future, I can.