I lalalalalalove yooouu~ Oh my gawd, shut the up pls.

(Okay, this picture is just what love means to me xD But omg, look at them they're so cute *^*) 

Being in love with someone you can't have . So maybe as you see, I haven't been writing anything for the last few days/weeks, yeah it was just 'cuz my life was kinda okay. It's always the same which is going on, but at some point you get used to it and think it's normal and so my life was okay. Kinda. There was this whole school and stuff but yeah. I must live with that. Everyone must go to this hell called school. Srsly. I really think school is like hell. Especially when you're outsiderish. Anyway, school is another topic. I wanted to talk about love.

Okay, first I really don't understand love at all. It's just there and I'm not trying to question it 'cuz then I get a big problem. Love hasn't got any sense.

I'm in love. I guess. But yeah, I'm such a lucky person and the boy I love doesn't even know I exist. Fml.

I think you all know how it feels, when you see a couple in TV or anywhere else and you're just like 'I want to be with him like that as well' but in the very next moment you know, this is not going to happen. Never. No matter how much you want it. And gawd, I want it so badly. I just want him next to me and smilling shyly with his beautiful smile at me.

But I know, he doesn't think of me in that way. I'm just a little girl for him, I'm not even sure if he knows my name or ever noticed that I'm there at all.

He's just so perfect. He's beautiful and nice and a lil' derp. He's got everything I could dream of. And it hurts. It hurts so much, to see this guy walking around every day and you just know he won't be yours.

I hate this so much. I mean, I don't expect him to love me, hell no. I know to well that he isn't in my league, not even in my dreams.

Honestly, I don't even know any girl that is in his league. And thinking of him with another girl makes me sick, so it guess it just let it be.

But yeah, you know, when you're in love your stupid head always makes some hope, even if they aren't too high, they're there.

And you could kill you for that, because you always hope that he's looking in your direction or .

You know he doesn't but you're hurt and disgusted neverthless. I mean why? Just why does love hurt so much? I mean yeah it can be fluffy and pink and but nothing last forever and at some point it will hurt you, believe me.

But at the other side, it's just like the person is the reason that your heart is beating and you're world is falling apart and everything.

You would risk everything for that person, even he has never taken a notice of you, though.

That .

Gawd, I hate being in love so much. I really didn't want this to happen. But he's just so handsome and yeah. I'm not able to do anything against it so I'll just take the pain and .

Well, thanks for reading x3

Maybe see you next time guys~

As always sorry for my bad English, you know it isn't my first language.