Hello, good morning or good afternoon~

So, here I am again. I wish I could tell you I feel better, but I can't.
Everything just got worse. I got back my exams and yeah, my parents were really upset because of my grades. I don't think I'll make this year and I don't have the strenght to fight for it.

I feel so weak. I'm just here, living this daily , hoping it'll end soo.

I'm not able to do this anymore. And I'm sick of all this people pretending to care.

Nobody cares, nobody even realzises.

Everyone's having they're own ty little problems which they tell me and they don't even ask how I feel. Yeah, but I'm used to it.

Who would care for the pathetic little girl?

No one's sees, how I smile, even if it's fake. How I laugh, even when it's hurt and how all these words they say to me get me everytime.

And I'm writting all this here... I don't even know myself.

Maybe because I feel important then for just a few moments.

Maybe because, when I'm not here anymore, people can read my story. Maybe then they realize that not every time everything is fine.

I hope they'll ask their sad looking friend then, if really everything was okay.

It's not like I'm giving up. I just can't win. In my eyes, living is a battle and suicide is losing it. And I'm totally losing it.

I mean, in a few months I have to go to a school, where everyone will hate me. I'm losing my only friend then, about which I'm not even sure, if she really is my friend.

I mean, it's not like she cares about me in any way. I'm just fine, when she's got any problems.

I can't and I don't want to go on.

And I'm hating myself for not having the guts to end it.

I feel like total . I've never felt that useless and bad in my life before.

I'm getting insane.

If I commit suicide it won't bother anyone. I mean, at least I don't have anyone that really loves or cares about me.

To be honest, I don't even clearly know, what love is.

I just know, it hurts. Hurts so much.

The last time I was in love, it killed me. It's still killing me. Because I experienced how great that person was and seeing that I was nothing to her...It was terrible.

I really need to rest. I need a break.

Time has run out for me.

Life is meaningless for me. There's nothing worth a smile.

I'm buried above the ground.

And I feel good because I wrote down all my messy thoughts.

So thanks for reading it <3

Maybe we read eachother again, maybe not.

-CorpseBride