I hate you....

Hi guys.. Nampak tak tajuk hari nie...Kekeke. Dah rasa macam ajar bebduk tadika pulak..

Okay.. Tajuk tu nampak macam tajuk cinta kan? Padahal tak. It is about a side of me yang kecewa akan my cousin and kecewa akan kebodohan diri sendiri -looks down-

Entah kenapa... Untuk blog yang nie.. I hope you guys bagi pendapat korang.. Sebab I tak boleh lupakan cerita nie sampai sekarang. Korang rasa macam mana cerita sya nie... I was too dumb I think....

Okay Let's start it first.

Hari Ahad lepas,my lovely and my most kakak sedara kawin. And I'm so happy because ye lah... Dia kawin dengan orang baik. And I know dia punya husband.. so sporting. And well.. Of course dia nampak cantik masa wedding dia..

TIME KENDURI....

I was too bored sebab dia busy yang teramat. Bayangkan lah I just keluar masuk rumah. Takkanlah nak kacau dia jumpa kawan dia. So then dalam pukul 12,my friend datang and I was so happy. Kitorang borak for almost 3 hours... Sampai lah ke luar rumah..Time tu I lupa satu benda yang sangat penting. Sesangat lupa. I can't even remember about it. After my friend balik,my kakak sedara yang sekor lagi nie tetiba ajak pergi gym. Stupid right? Orang tak habis majlis lagi. Dia dah nak cau..

AND GUESS WHAT?! I FOLLOW DIA! Stupid me right?

Dalam hati I time tu memang I nak tolong basuh2 pinggan. Tapi entah kenapa otak nie suruh jugak ikut dyorang. And yes.. Ikut tanpa masuk ke dalam rumah...

AND KITORANG PERGI GYM SAMPAI PUKUL 7... BANGANG tak? (Sorry. marah pd diri sendiri)

Time tu.. I tertinggal bekas lens I kat rumah cousin I tu so I pergi amik.. Sampai je kat situ I cari la dia tapi.. Dia tak de... So I ambil je lah. And bila masuk kereta ,kakak sedara I yang kerek tu tanya..

"Tena ada?" I geleng.

"Tak de pun... Dia pergi rumah sewa tu kot.." I guess.. I totally lupa pasal BENDA tu.. And kakak sedara I cakap.

"Eh tak lah. Dyorang pergi OUTDOOR PHOTOSHOOT" Crap! BENDA tu lah yang I lupa selama nie. Tau tak rasa bersalah tu macam mana? Rasa nak bunuh diri. Sampai je kat rumah,mak I menjeling maut kat I. Pastu I pergi kat dia,I nangis macam orang gila. rasa bersalah. I call dia sebelum sampai rumah tu and dia cakap...

"Tena tak kesah lah kakak." Dia tak kesah but I know.. Suara tu suara kecewa.. And i know.. Dia cuba sorok rasa kecik hati dia.. I nangis lah kat mak I macam orang gila and setepek kena marah dengan ayah sendiri sebab pergi gym sedangkan ada kenduri..

AND I RASA MACAM I STUPID..

And know what.. Kakak sedara I yang kerek tu nak pergi gym sebab nak lari daripada buat kerja rumah such as basuh pinggan and angkat meja. I pulak bangang,bongong pergi follow dia.. ( About to cry..... T_T)

So that night,macam biasa lah.. Bukak-bukak hadiah bagai.. I datang rumah dia and terus cari dia.. Bila dia jumpa I,I terus nangis kat dia.. Saying I am so sorry. And she was crying too... So bersalah you know. Tu maksudnya dia kecik hati. Dia tak pernah nangis sepanjang I tengok dia. Dia tak nangis langsung time dia nikah.. Tapi bila I tak teman dia and bodoh pergi gym.. Dia kecik hati... (Omo.. I'm crying)

Pastu lepas da mintak maaf... Tau tak I rasa satu keluarga tu pandang serong kat I !! I pergi lah dapur nak tolong basuh pinggan but my face... Macam orang tak de perasaan.... PAstu time basuh pinggan.. ade lah mak sepupu I nie.. Kitorang rapat jugak sebab I selalu jaga anak dia. I call her,Mak Long Fiza.. Okay back to the story..

I pon basuh lah pinggan,tetiba mak long fiza datang and cakap.
" Tak payah lah basuh pinggan kakak.. Biar mak long buat. Kakakkan penat pergi gym."

MAYELL.. Tersentap aku .. Bayangkan! Dia cakap macam tu. Berair la air mata aku. Bersalah sangat. ANd then I said..
"Eh x pe lah. Mak long lagi penat sebab x de orang tolong mak long td.."

Tapi sikit aku tak pandang muka dia...(Pastu,...lupa dh ape jadi..)...

Dalam 30 minit lepas tu... KAKAK SEDARA AKU DUA EKOR YANG SIAL tu sampai... Time tu mak long fiza tengah cakap dengan aku.. Dia tanya kenapa angah (kakak sedara aku yang drive kitorg g gym) nak sangat g gym? And I said... SEBAB DIA MALAS NAK TOLONG ORANG BUAT KERJA RUMAH. Tak ke SHIAL?! Eihhh! A of paper betullah...

Pastu time tgh cakap tu lah dyorang sampai. Mak Long Fiza terus cau. Aku sambung basuh pinggan.. And then angah tu tolong la bebasuh pinggan and start borak ngn aku. Sial,aku betul tak nak cakap dengan dia buat masa tu. Sakit hati sia.... (Kan dah keluar bahasa pasar.)

"Kakak,angah risau lah kalau dyorang marah kita pergi gym..." Sial tak sial ayat dia tu. Aku senyum sinis. Tak jawab, Diam terus. Dia tu tak sedor ke yang semua orang tengah pandang serong kat dy,aku and adik dia.. Dia tengok je aku tak bagi respon.. Dia sambung lagi.

"Kakak penat ke? Biar angah lah buat.." Aku diam tak bercakap. Aku habiskan terus semua pinggan tu.. And then terus bla. ALL PEOPLE LOOK AT ME MACAM AKU NI STRANGERS. AND MACAM DYORANG TAK KENAL SAPE AKU AND YES I GUESS AKU BUAT DOSA SEBAB BODOH PERGI GYM BUT PLEASE... PANDANGAN DYORANG BUAT AKU RASA AKU BONGOK SANGAT (BUT MEMANG LAH BONGOK TAPI.. JANGANLAH MACAM TU)....

Time bukak hadiah. Aku macam halimunan. X de sape nampak aku.. Suami tena tu layanlah aku.. And after that.. Dalam kol 11 ktorang balik rumah. Aku nekad.. Aku memang tak nak dah g rumah dia. X leh bayang bebannya. Sampai sekarang aku still nangis. Mengingati kebodohan aku pada hari penting orang yang paling aku syang..

Hari Rabu tu mak aku cakap nak send pisang kat tok aku yang tumpang rumah Tena tu lah.. Aku rasa macam awkward utk pergi sana.. Macam aku tak pernah kenal langsung dyorang tu sape...So aq pon pergi sana and rasa diri aku macam tunggul. Sikit pun dy tak layan aku. Cakap pun gegitu. Cara cakap ada perlian. Pressure on me. Balik rumah mak aku marah. PRESSURE MACAM NATANG APE....

sampai skg aku langsung tak cakap dengan kakak sedare aq yang kerek tu,,, and live on my own.. Malas layan dyorang..

So.. Itulah my story about something yang aku... tak boleh lupa... Can you give your opinion... Boleh tak cakap.. memang aku ni bodoh ke sebab buat perkara bangang?!! And apa komen korg tntg cerita aku?

Comments

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xiuminrose08 #1 Nov 3, 2014 07:01:11

kalau sy jd awk pun sya rase sy pun akan jadi mcm tu rasa bersalah ya amat ! TT^TT n sakit ati tersngat sngatlah! .. tapi awk jgn fikir sngat pasal kejadian tu .. sbb kalo awk lg fikir nanti jd lebih teruk so skrang baik awak tenangkan fikir dgn buat apa yg awk suka.. kalau saya makan ais krim n baca mang or tgok anime hoho itu aq menolong sya melupakan masalah sy .. IANYA AMATLAH MEMBANTU bg syalah

avianytime #2 Nov 3, 2014 00:28:32

sy x rs kakak sedara awak ptut buat mcm tu dkat awak. I mean, both of you rapat, kan ? It just a photoshoot. Awk pun x sngaja kan. awk x tau yg kakak sedara awk yg lg sorang tu perdayakan awk. mmg la tndakan awk x ptut. tp lynan diorang tu melampau sgt

PenguinLOvers772 #3 Nov 2, 2014 00:34:52

First thing first; what did you did is ABSOLUTELY A WRONG THING. And I am not dare to say that you don't deserve any lectures from your family ....
and because of that ... you need to admit your fault and apologizes. THAT is what you should do ...

Second; reflect on your action such as, 'why did I do that? what was wrong with me?' and so on. Then promise yourself that you should NEVER do such a thing like that again. But don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes in their lives and we need a second chance to fix things up. From what I have read, you seem to be temporarily distracted and not to mention that your sister persuasion was what made you to do that thing..
plus, in my opinion, you shouldn't be that kind of 'sentap' if your aunt said that. (Of course you were hurt too by her words but if it was me, I would consider that sarcasm words suits me). You need to realize that is IS your fault ACCIDENTALLY and you need to clarify with others that you are sorry instead of keeping it to yourself. Tell your mom and family the truth. If they don't believe you and still looking at you in a wrong way, let them be. They can do whatever they want but remember that you have apologize and admit your fault. and that is a very important things to do.

It's alright dear. Things happen for a reason and this incident probably wanting to taught you to be more responsible and alert in life. Just be cool okay?
I hope I didn't hurt you with my blunt words but you are the one who want some opinion, right? ;)
Chill ... and don't cry. ^^

lialinaexo #4 Oct 31, 2014 22:23:43

Well , most of all .. mmg larr perbuatan awk tuh mcm x betol je .. tp sepatutnyer mk awk kena lar sokong awk .. saat2 mcm ni lar kite perlukn seseorg utk dorong kite .. dn sepatutnyer jugak family Tena tu kena faham ape yang awk lalui .. awk x cube berterus-terang ke dengan family Tena tu ? Dn tegaskan awk mmg tersalah ikot kakak sedare awk tuh ?? Anyway , sye cume bgi opinion sye .. sye x pasti tntang awk .. klau awk nk berterus-terang dgn diorang ,, ingt lar yg sye akn sokong awk !!! Hehehe ..