uhm hi guys , 

i know this is pbbly stupid but i have no other unknown site to show my stupidity on and i shld be studying rn cuz i have a test tmrw but ; 

i have a crush on a very popular guy in our highschool and when i say crush i mean HUUUGE , i get super nervous around him and it actually affects me on the phisical side (my sugar level gets low , nausea , shaking ...ect) and he's the brother of my guy friend and he knows every single one of my friends; i didnt tell anyone , well except for my 3 bffs and my other bff who is a guy but i dont think he cares lol ... so basically u cant tell that i am not the person who tells everyone about their emotional life and not a very social person in general.

so before i never talked to the guy and when he came talking to his brother i got nervous , then after a while i started to notice my feelings for him and the more i learned about him (from his bro) the more my feels grew for him, so this time i msged the bro on his skype and He replayed then slowly i started messaging him from time to time (on his bro's acc ) so we became idk maybe friends so we had normal convos , In this school year; he started noticing me  providing that he didnt know me at all before. He wld stare at me (?) idk but even my friends noticed ... i didnt talk to him at all , thinking he wasnt interested in a girl like me , i mean he is like the hottest person in town , but that made me feel weird , then one day , my friend was sick and before he even offered help he asked weather she was Her friend (talking bout me ) and she said yes , then she said to go get me for help and he came into my class running and asked for permision and called me infront of the whole classe (of course everyone was jealous and i had a bug for like 10 secs because he looked so hot that day pmsl) anyway , myself and friends always noticed that he wanted my attention , but i deny it cuz ... come on .... , So this time when there is a big haul he chose to bump into me ... twise and he always looks at me idk i mean i really dont want false hope and believe me i push them in the back of my mind when i  notice these things untill my friends confirm it. so when this opertunity came i went to talk to him casually (just for it to seem normal cuz i dont want him to know that i like him , so i talked to him as a friend ) but here's the prob , he frowned the whole time , second time he speaked looking away and replayed with 2 short words (inveresed i dont know why lol i still dont understand what he meant by saying them) and the third time i said hello to my group of friends and he was there so he said a simple hi (after i asked him specifically) and went forward while he normaly smiles then go forward in my friend's regard ,so i automatically got the possibility that he knows from his brother that i like him and he's being cocky , or he heard something bad about me OR he naturally hates me (that 's why he was looking at me probably trying to figure a way to kill me cuz he just does hate me ) 

idk guys i mean he still watches where i go and ... i really hope he doesnt hate me i mean i dont excpect him to like me or love me but hate is too much cuz he's the most guy i had feelings for IN MY LIFE 

so my friend said she thinks he likes me (phisicaly and my personality that he knew on skype) but i'm a negative person and also a rational one therefor i dont think he does , plus his brother always makes that exited face when he sees me paying attention to Him and all so i got suspecious ...  dont even know if his bro likes me or dislikes me or something cuz he doesnt show his real feels (it cld have some kind of relation with this  ) and also he had always talked to me as a friend on skype so nothing weird just when i begun seeing him. let aside the most annoying thing that is this year i got to know him more and more and this my feels so much worse.

so at the end i am left with this debate about waether he :

like me and hides it

hates me and shows it

knows i like him but dosnt want to give me false hope 

he is acting normal and i'm schizo (but that's less probable regarding that my friend always notice him looking but when i look he looks away) 

anyway if u read this please give ur opinion and advise ; cuz when i get a flimps of him looking at me i get this burning desire in my chest to know what he thinks and the cause is that at the same time my selfconsious self thinks  why he is looking at Me ? i am not pretty and ithere is nothing to like in me ... and haters ohhh haters , they always get me down so i hate to have another one joining in the club , but he wld get an extra star cuz he's the one i like and want ....yyep ...

i garra go study now before i get more emotional ...k

Love , EM