Okay so, the first time I saw WINNER was when they were performing Empty in Kpop Inkigayo and the first time I listen, I was like, "Oh the song is okay" because I was at the time didn't develop interest with new groups. So, I just watch them perform because I only liked the song.

The first guy I commented was Taehyun. I didn't know who he was at that exact time. I didn't realized it but I said he looked like a girl. xD Too feminine looking for me. And that the only handsome guy to me was Mino, the rapper. Well not handsome, more to manly. And that Jinwoo looked cute but not my taste and so were the others.

And at that period of time, I was caught up with the anime Hunter x Hunter because of my lil sis. -,- But I enjoyed watching it and developed a little (actually BIG!) crush on the main antagonist, Hisoka. He looked so evil yet so gorgeous I drool whenever he came on the tv. *O*

So, the next week, I opened the Kpop Inkigayo and decided to watch WINNER performing Empty because I liked the song. And that was the time I fell for Tae Hyun. :3

Because... He looked almost like Hisoka. I mean, he can be the real life version of Hisoka, except that he's a cuter version of Hisoka. The way he move and the way he look at the camera and even his eyes are almost the same. Well to me of course.

But I had a huge crush on him because of Hisoka. So, it was Hisoka first, Tae Hyun second...

But now...

Tae Hyun is first and Hisoka is second. 

I actually wanted Hisoka to remain the first because he's not real so he can't make my heart aches because of the fact I can't meet him. Hisoka is not real but Tae Hyun is.

He's in Korea and he's alive. He sings and he will fall in love with someone who is in fact, not me. He never know I exist and that make my heart aches a lot.

I've been like this with other kpop idol but it has never been this bad. The urge to meet my kpop idol has never been this strong. T^T

I really want to see him. I don't care if it's from 100 metres away. I just want to get a glimpse of him from afar. 

And that made me develop a dream on being a variety star before stepping foot into veterinary world. Or maybe an actor. I don't know. I just want to see him.

I suddenly wanted to see how I am with a bit feminine guy because the guys Ive been with before (boyfriends) were all manly, showing off and everything. And the fact that I was boyish myself probably drive me to like a feminine guy.

I mean, he's so cute he could be a girl! *O* (I'm not lesbo mind you. I'm only boyish) And the way he smiled. It's just... Urrghh I hate him but I love him! >< 

I'm stuck now! TAT