"We're innocent, but not stupid."

"To do art-related professions, one has to be pure."

Because I know I'm innocent. I don't care about the amount of people who show up for dance class each week, I don't care about any new policies that my instructors do, I just follow. It's not as if I never analyzed anything, it's just that I know that my instructors have been through so much, they just want the best for us. This is why they created a pre-professional programme for aspiring professionals, why they are so patient with us. I don't know, am I really stupid? Do I seem like that because I'm just so 'pure'?

Funny how I really understood my instructor's words while they have a superficial understanding of his words, and they call me stupid. I was really cynical, negative before I joined the team but when I spent time with them and think about the things that they did to us, and I would think, “They must have done this things to us because their instructors taught them how to train them like that."

Well the truth confirmed my thoughts. My female dance instructor was a professional gymnast who started when she was 5, she had really brutal training, can't eat staples, even had to limit the amount of water she drank for they were really strict about weight. She had to quit gymnastics for it affected her growth badly, her puberty started really late. So now she tells me, "The amount of hardship you suffer is really nothing to me, I've been through things much painful than yours." But her training made her a really good dancer.

We're innocent, but not stupid. I know it's gonna be hard to be a professional dancer and I have to deal with hypotension and but it's going to be okay. I have the faith that I'll be able to do it. I don't know, the things I have attempted should have diminished my confidence in professional dancing. I gave up on so many things, but not on this. I know I'm innocent, but my instructors are so pure, so are the things they teach. It's not like my parents when I get tired of thinking who is right or wrong, because there are so many contradictions. I can't be angry anymore, they have their own problems that I never wanted to interfere with. I spent my whole life trying to find out which was the right career path for me, I know I'm young but BoA is my role model and she started really young. And dance came unexpectedly but it was the thing I could embrace fully.

I'm not really innocent, before I joined the team I was so cynical, so negative. But dance came and I realized it could make me really happy if I really opened up to it, before I realized it I got really sad when I thought I had to quit dance for various reasons. I didn't suffer much, my instructors did so they could bring joy to so many people. It's not tough, no not really, it'll make us stronger.