Hi everyone!

So, I guess I've got a lot of explaining to do, right? You must have some quesitons- where have I been? Why haven't I written anything? Why are half of my stories not available anymore?

Well, to start off, in case you didn't know, I went on hiatus somewhere in the middle of July. (Here is the blog link)

I was planning on writing a one-shot depicting my feelings and struggles at the time, but in the end, my plans fell through, and I never got around to doing anything about it.

Anyways, where have I been? Well, to be honest, I've always been here. I'm on AFF almost all the time, whether it be on my phone or on my laptop. No, I'm not always reading, but I'm always connected. I've subscribed to stories, I've commented, made some friends... I just haven't written. Why?

Because, in the past few months, I've done some self reflecting about myself and my kpop loyalties.

2014 has been a tough year for everyone, and I'm prety sure we all know why (esp we SM stans, but continuing)-

It all started one day when I was re-reading some of my favorite SHINee fanfics. I was reading and whatnot, but I came to realize that I didn't have the same reactions as when I originally read them. Sure, I knew what was coming, but I didn't feel that same spark and excitement that I did originally. Something was off, or missing, and I wans't sure what it was.

I tried reading and writing some SHINee material, but I came to realize that I was blank. I had no ideas. I had no ideas to write, and more sadly, I had no desire of passion to write.

Something about the SHINee fandom shifted in my mind, and after that, I never really saw them the same way again.

Sure, I still love their music and them in general, but after some self reflecting (and after Taemin's solo debut, but that's a different story), I realized that SHINee had lost its glowing light and is now just another band. Nothing exemplary. Nothing overly special.

And it makes me sad.

SHINee used to be my life, and honestly, I wish I loved them now like I did before.

To be completely honest, after thinking about it for weeks, I realized that it was because of what I was reading and writing.

I love reading all types of fanfic, including , so I read anything anyone had to offer about SHINee and my OTPs, which included 2min and Jongkey, but I think that is actually what killed my unrequitted love. The , the hardcore fanfiction- that which hurt or humiliated my boys in any way.

Now, don't get me wrong. I still like a lot of nonrealistic/AU stories. I don't know, though. Something about those involved with SHINee shifted, and in the end,it only made things worse.

I know that what I just said probably didn't make sense, but I'm still confused as ever myself. I hope to get back into SHINee sometime soon, but we'll see.

For now, as many of you Shawols are probably dreading, my heart has been taken in by EXO, and I am going to be dedicating 99% of my work for them.

I'm very sorry, and I really don't want to sound like a traitor to my fellow Shawols. Don't think that I'm betraying you (as I've already been accused of). I'm just confused and trying to find my way back to them so I can love them the same along with everyone else.

So, with those final words, please wish me luck and I hope to be writing again within the next few days!

<3 ~starlight-turtle