Hey everyone, I am alive and well (well, perhaps just one of those things)

I know I've been absent for a while, and I'm not gonna pretend that it's been because I've been sooooo busy with so much to do and whatnot...

Nah homies. It's that I'm lazy, sleepy, and have sometimes crippling anxiety and depression

I mean, yeah, I do work and whatnot, but I only recently got my job. The past year has been a ing nightmare for me, to be honest. Like with many, many people, Covid really ed my whole world up. I ended up unemployed for nearly 9 months, had my car die on me right before I eventually started my new job, and lost contact with a few really important people. My introverted LOVED the lockdowns and whatnot for about...2 months or so, maybe 3, before it became suffocating. Of course, i wasn't a ing selfish and still stayed in and whatnot, but it was hard. It was really hard. Covid in the US got really really bad, and it still is absolutely out of control. So many people here are just so apathetic..

I lost my way a bit. I didn't know what day of the week it was, i didn't know what time it was, i was lost in time with no grounding, and my only solace was my mind (while it was also my prison as well) my mental health deteriorated to the point where I felt dangerously close to the lowest I had been before...it was scary. It was really scary, but I'm thankful that I understand myself enough to know how to TRY and get out of these states. I've learned that for me personally, reaching out and talking things through is important, so I talked to a few close people and we worked together to help each other get through. These times) 

It's not all doom and gloom, however. As stared before, I do have a job, which has helped me with routine and staying out of my own head for a bit, I movedout of my mom's place and in with a friend, started watching RuPaul's Drag Race (US AND UK, Bing Bang Bong anyone?) and I actually started a relationship with someone really special. Perhaps that was a bit risky during these turbulent times, but we have been really safe and smart, and nowadays, only hang out at one of our places and order food to go (because sitting in restaurants is either not an option or just stupid) so yeah, it's been really a blessing to have someone to be there for me and to help keep myself out of my mind for a bit.

Ultimately, where I'm going with this is...I'm not entirely sure when exactly I'll write again. I still have ideas, and I still have a bubble of creativity forming and whatnot in my head, but every time I try to write, my mind blanks. I still read comments, I still appreciate every single subscriber and whatnot, but it may be a while before (and if) I ever really get back into writing FF.

That being said, however, I still read things here and there because I'm a hedonistic and love me my OTPS 😅 but yeah, i may be in and out, here and there, but my DMs are always open if y'all wanna chat, rant, whatever

Love you, my lovelies ❤️

(Also this was written on mobile so please forgive any spelling or otherwise egregious errors lmao)