Are these lyrics okay?
Okay, so I'm co-author of a story and I've been asked to write my own song lyrics. They're done now and I really want your opinion on them. It's my first time writing lyrics, so I wonder if I did any good.
The song is called Demon and I based it off/on my own experiences, my first love to be exact. My first love is something I wish I could forget about. I'm still scarred by it...
Anyway, the main subject of the song is how someone can hurt you (emotionally in my case) so much and yet, you keep loving that person.
Demon:
I'm running through a field
Hunted by the unknown
How can I escape?
I'm brandmarked by your gaze
The gaze which I cannot see
Even my soul aches at the reflection of you
The reflection which I cannot see
What are you?
I can feel a sharp knife piercing through my heart
Is it you? Why are you torturing me?
Where are you? Where are you? What are you?
The wounds are still open
The bleeding is still fresh
The pain is burning in my veins
Am I dying?
Where are you? Where are you? What are you?
Stop chasing me!
Haven't you hurt me enough?
Go away!
I'm begging you
Why me?
Please leave me alone
Where are you? Where are you? What are you?
Stop it!
Leave!!!
Enough is enough!
Go away now!!!
Am I alone?
Are you gone?
Where am I?
This is it
You're gone
You've left me
Finally
It feels like I'm getting ripped in pieces
You're back
Why does it feel so pleasant?
Where are you? Where are you? What are you?
The pain is burning like your deep gaze
Am I dying?
For some reason I don't mind
Did you curse me?
My toes curl and I hiss in pain
I missed you
Please stay with me forever
Please don't go
Where are you? Where are you? What are you?
Please, no bashing. Keep friendly, yet honest
Maybe I should post the story of my first love in a blog post? Or should I not?
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