I have officially made the stupidest mistake of the year!!

I wrote a wish list in January. I always do every year, hoping that I can complete it by the end of the year. This time, one of my wishes was to NOT fall in love. I swear I wrote that. 

And I have to break that promise. OTL Whyyy am I so weeaakk?!

I've been friends with this guy since college started, and he is super wierd. Like, you'd definitely hate him if you meet him for the first time. He's such an annoying jerk who doesn't filter his mouth when he talks. He effing embarresed me infront of my mum and sister. OMG, I hate him so much. T-T 

He thinks he knows everything and he is ALWAYS making me buy him food just cause he's always broke. Then he'll follow me around and say that he has to take care of me cause apparently I can't take care of myself. -.- and he always wins in our arguments and I just can't bear how smart he is in making me look like the wrong one even when I'm right! Like wth, he just twists the whole topic and now I'm the bad one. 

Everybody hates him. Like litterally. In class, nobody likes him. Only a few of us are friends with him cause we know how to deal with him. He's like those kind of people who you just won't be able to understand from their outlooks. But once you understand them and know what kind of person they really are, you'll appreciate them more.

So I'm one of those rare people who actually understands him and I totally don't mind hanging out with him. He's actually a nice person. It just takes more effort to see the goodness in him.

Well anyway, the thing is. He's so annoying!

But I have to admit, I have a huge crush in him. I don't understand myself. Why do I like someone who is stupid and annoying and is a total jerk??

Haih... He just HAD to make me feel special everytime we go out together. He just HAD to assure me that I could trust him whenever i had any problems. He just HAD to be always there for me when I needed him the most.

He makes me laugh and smile every single day. And the way he teases me all the time, it's so cute. And if I don't like something, he would understand and make sure it doesn't happen again. He opens up to me and talks to me about everything. He takes care of me.

Once he said he almost thought I was his girlfriend, and he was so close to holding my hand when we were out together. I was speechless. 

He said that I looked hot when I danced. /blush/

He accompanies me everyday while I wait for my mum to fetch me home. He doesn't go home until I do, no matter how late. 

How do you expect me not to fall in love with this jerk? 

My friends thinks he likes me back. But you see, I would have known if he liked me back. 

I know him too well. Well enough to know if he likes me back or not. And so far, I know he probably doesn't. But it wavers a lot. Sometimes I think he does, sometimes he doesn't. I don't know. 

I know he is willing to give me a chance though. If I were to confess to him, he will definitely accept me and give me a chance. I know that very well. And yet, I just can't bring myself to tell him. I'm still scared. Not of rejection, but of what he'll think about me. 

Haihh~ eottokhae?

Im going out on a 'date' with him next week. Lol. We're going to watch a show together. I wonder what's going to happen then. I really hope something good happens. 

I really like this guy. And no, it's not only cause he's hot. (He is really hot though. Lol.)

Before this I always had crushes on guys cause their hot and stuff. But this guy is different. I've really fallen for him. <3 

The last time I fell so hard for a guy was when I was thirteen. That's was the guy who played me out and broke my heart. I was so sad. 

Now when I fall so hard for this guy, it feels like my past all over again. I'm scared, but excited at the same time. I'll be crossing my fingers and praying really hard. 

Can't wait for next week! 

<3<3<3