I do apologise this blog post is mostly my rants, but also my concerns as well.

I'm not too sure if I should be concerned or not, cause I'm sure everyone has their moments of being nervous or what not.

I am not diagnosed with any mental or health issues. It's just for the past year, I get more nervous than I usually do. For example, I'm sitting in an assembly at my school and I start to feel faint and hot. I get super nervous as well. I mean there's approx. 200 students in my year group (or if you don't live in the UK, it's called Grades). I'm also chlaustrophobic as well. I can't stand small spaces. I have nervous breakdowns if I'm in a small space for too long. So sitting in a room with 200 students for about 20 minutes, I get nervous, I feel faint. I never say anything about it, cause I don't think people will believe me.

I mean last year in my art class, someone decided to throw a rubber at me. It missed my face by an inch, that totally surprised me. I couldn't breathe properly and everyone just laughed. They thought the whole moment was funny and they thought I was acting. I really couldn't breathe properly! I was having a panic attack! Even my teacher asked me what was wrong at first and then ignored me afterwards, because I wasn't able to talk. I only mumbled. Luckily it was a mild one, so I didn't collapse, I managed to calm myself after like 15 minutes. I still hold a grudge against my class for that day. My class still makes jokes about it till this day. Every few months they suddenly ask, 'hey do you remember that time in art?' I always reply to them saying it's not funny, cause I really couldn't breathe. Then they would always say 'yeah, but it was still funny though.'

What if my panic attack progressed into something more serious!?

A lot of people don't realise how serious panic attacks can be.

I mean, only a week ago, I witnessed one of my best friends having a serious panic attack in registration at school. She collapsed into my arms when I told her she seriously didn't look well and that I was going to take her out of the class. I had to put her in the recovery position. She was mumbling about not being able to feel her fingers and couldn't breathe. It was the scariest moment of my life! Thank goodness I took a first aid course about a month ago it really helped me a lot on that day. I just had to try and keep her calm and get her to slow down her breathing. It got so bad though, the teachers of my school had to call an ambulance and get a paramedic to help.

She's ok now. But since then she has had another panic attack. So I am constantly worrying about her health. I am going camping with her in about 3 weeks with my other best friend and her family to this folk festival. So I'm a bit worried that she might have another panic there. But if that does happen again, I will know what to do, and my other best friend's mother is a doctor.

Maybe I get these anxiety moments due to stress and I'm not used to being in a crowd of over 1000 students at school.

I think I might just need to observe myself for a while and see if I can get over it on my own.~