Is there anyone who facing the same problem as me ?

I wonder why I can't even say "I love you" to my parent .

Yes , Yes , Yes I love them but I don't have any courage to say something simple like "I love you" or "I care about you"

I don't know why but I always pretended to be strong and stubborn in front of them.

I can't show my weak side infront of them .

Because of I pretended to be strong they really really really thought that I'm strong .

They even thought that when they say something hurtful to me about my dream I still can stand by my ownself ?

Are they kidding me ?

We loved each other but we hated each other .

My parent word seriously leave deep impression to me .

And yeah , again I still pretended that I am strong .
 

I always make them sad , but here I am standing like hard rock and pretend that nothing happen .

I just want to make my dream come true .

I just want to be what I want to be for my future happiness but because of my decision ,

I'm burning my happiness with my parent right now .

But they still stand beside me and support me with they hurtful word .

I don't know how to express my feeling right now.

Sad? Happy? Angry? Disappointed?

Everytime I make them sad .

They pretend to be like nothing happen and they act to feel better after letting out a deep sigh .
I can see their invisible tears.
They don’t cry over their scarred heart with the painful wounds.

I made those scars but why do I keep blaming them?

And their eyes showed that their are tired .
But they hid it, such a liar.

Am I just made a wrong decision to go and chase for my dream ?
I just don't want to be what they want me to be .
I want to be me .

I haven’t done anything for my parent, I haven’t given anything to them .
These are the words I wanted to say so much,

" I love you forever Mom and Dad . Now I will embrace you, you can lean on me from now on."

But I don't have any courage .

They are so close but so unapproachable

They must have been lonelier than anyone else but I didn’t approach them .

I wanted to just cry, I wanted to cry in their arms.
Because my gratitude toward them was so sad .

But I don't have any courage to open my heart .

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Ignore my spelling or grammar mistake or whatsoever ..