Hey, all!

It has taken me a while to process everything that has been happening to EXO recently. It's as if KPop is setting off atomic bombs everywhere and it is affecting everyone, not only the idols' own fandoms. The aftermath of these events are worse than the actual events themselves. :'(

It was devastating to hear about Kris' lawsuit. Then, his separation from the group.

And it was even more devastating to hear that Baekhyun has been dating Taeyeon for 4 months.

I will tell you why in a moment. Let me just... rant for a while because no matter how composed I am on this site, I need to release some pent-up anger, too. Frankly, I needed to calm down my initial anger before posting this blog.

Although I have never named Kris as my bias, I respect him. He is the leader of EXO-M. He is tall, handsome, silly, quirky, and just a plain dork. Yes, he cared about his image, but the fact that he risked ruining that image because of his silliness, now, that's something to be proud of.

He has been away from home for, what, four or five years? It's a long time to be away from home. I agree that he was following his dreams, but being away from home for more than a month is hard enough. I know that feeling and I was only gone from home for four months. So, I understand it if he wants to return home. I understand if he misses his mother. I did, too, but I would never admit it to her, haha.

However, it is impossible to say that the choice he made was a smart one. (I'm not calling him dumb, for all of you Kris fans out there. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone makes wrong choices. It's human nature. Deal with it.) There are so many factors one has to consider before making such a decision. His fellow members, his fans, the company, his family and friends at home, and also the family and friends he had gained in Korea. They are all a part of his life and they all must be considered.

Perhaps he was being selfish. (Yes, humans are selfish creatures. Admit it.) Perhaps he made the decision on a whim. Or perhaps he thought of all of his options, then landed on the final one after months of contemplation. Heck, I don't know! I'm not him, am I?

My point is that it happened at such an unopportune moment. Right after the release of "Overdose"? Not smart. At the height of EXO's popularity? Also not smart.

Like I said, I respect him. I still respect him to this day. But, this wasn't a smart choice. He DOES deserve to call himself an artist and he SHOULD have the free will to take on projects that interest him. But, should that cost him leaving EXO as a result? Should that cost the company that housed him for four years to lose a talented member in their newest boy group? Should that cause an uproar amongst fans, sasaeng fans, and anti-fans alike so that the EXO fandom is warring against each other once again? (Remember the whole fiasco during EXO's debut regarding choosing between EXO-K and M? That's so inhumane.)

And now I hear that the rest of the China-line in EXO are receiving crap as a result of all that has happened. Like, what the hell? What did they do, except live their lives? Do they deserve that crap? You all know the answer. A big, fat NO.

Gosh, I feel like drinking a whole bottle of soju in one shot. And I'm underage and allergic to alcohol. That's how severe my anger at this situation is.

Now, as for Baekhyun and Taeyeon... I need to take a breather, but that will never be the case for this situation.

Plain and simple, my bias in EXO is Baekhyun. I've mentioned it several times to a few AFF-ers on the site. Therefore, as a fan of his, I have no choice to accept his decision. So, why can't I? Why can't I just accept the fact that my bias is with someone three years his senior (technically six, but you know what I mean) who is just as cute as he is? Why can't I accept that she is, and always will be, his ideal type? Why can't accept that it is TAEYEON he is dating? Why do I wish that it was someone other than her? Why, why, WHY???

Because it makes no sense to me.

Yes, KPop artists have the liberty of loving and dating whomever they choose. It's not like a single fan's decision would stop them. (Not unless that fan was their first love or a former lover. Wait, I've been reading too many fanfics, haha.) But, really, they are free to date whoever they want.

They also have so many things to think about. The media, their fans, their fellow members, their family and friends, their company, and other things. Something like this was bound to happen and I don't mean them falling for each other. Something like fans opposing them so much that they are demanding Baekhyun to leave EXO, now. Something like Baekhyun's "past" coming up NOW. Something like fans leaving their fandoms. Something like people losing respect for them.

Baekhyun just debuted only two years ago. TWO YEARS AGO. Taeyeon is a respectable senior loved by many. She is bound to have many admirers, fans and celebrities alike. And all this is happening right after Kris' departure from the group, EXO's "Overdose" promotions, and SNSD's Tiffany, Sooyoung, and Yoona's relationship announcements. Get my confusion so far?

Look, I'm not hating on them. Like I said, he is my bias. I can't just give up my admiration for him because something like this happens. I also admire Taeyeon because she is handling all this crap like a champ. And she is an amazing singer.

I am just torn between respecting his decision because it is HIS to begin with and raging with jealousy and anger of their SECRET relationship. My emotional and logical selves are at war with each other. I want so desperately to scream at the both of them for the pain they have caused their fans and admirers. But, I'm in the student lounge right now, so that wouldn't be a good idea.

I'm sorry for all these harsh comments. I'm just trying to be realistic and make sense out of these situations. I'm sorry if I slandered Kris or Baekhyun and Taeyeon. I don't want you all to think that I hate them; I just hate the situations they put themselves in.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading my rant. I don't do these often... but when I do, I know that the things I write can get ugly. Please forgive me.

Sincerely (as a concerned EXO fan),

nasomi2011