*Warning: Bipolar sentiments ahead! Read on your own discretion!

Hey, All!

So, I know that you all have been waiting diligently for updates, which I am incredibly thankful for. These four-plus years on AFF have been… incredibly frustrating and rewarding at the same time. I am a veteran on the site and I must say that I’m proud to be one.

As you all know, I have been on HIATUS for quite a while. Perhaps for so long that most of you have unsubscribed to my stories and moved on to other stories that update regularly and keep you happy. All of my stories have taken months, even years, to update and I understand that this causes some, if not most, of my subscribers to lose patience in my inadequacy. Thus, those subscribers turn to other authors and stories to feed their AFF craving. I do not resent you all for that; in fact, I encourage you to do so.

Because the fact remains that I do not and cannot update regularly, which is entirely my fault.

I will not lie to you all (and I never have). Life truly gets in the way of what I love most here on earth. I love writing, so much that I feel like I am drowning in sorrow. I want to be free of my daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly duties, just so I can spend my days conjuring up chapters and chapters of fluff, angst, drama, and romance.

But, I cannot.

Why?

Because I am a scholar, an educator, a sister, a daughter, a grand-daughter, a leader, and most of all, a frustrated young adult. I spend every single day wishing that I could finish at least a chapter of one of my 12 on-going stories (on and off AFF), just so that I can have something to offer my faithful readers. But, schooling never ends. Learning and teaching never ends. Doing “the right thing” never ends. I cannot simply sit down and write anymore. I have too many responsibilities and too little time to finish it all.

So, the main meat of this blog is this: I need to make a decision about my account and stories on this site and I need all of your help.

As much as I want to keep my account active and my stories alive, I have a feeling that they will waste away. I know that on my status, I mentioned that I will be back during the Winter Break. But, I thought about my situation even deeper and decided to leave my account and stories on your shoulders.

Should I delete it all? The memories, stories, and relationships made on this site? Should I forget all the years I spent here? Should I simply just focus on Life, that big “L” word that seems to get in the way of all my recreational pursuits? Should I cease to exist here?

Or should I simply be inactive, a faint imprint in the AFF community who will never be recognized for her time and efforts?

For some reason, my questions seem more depressing than I intend them to be, haha. I have always had the flair for dramatics, anyway.  

The truth of the matter is…

I want to stay, even if I am inactive for the following year or two. I want to see my fellow AFF-ers flourish in their writing. I want to see AFF become a community in which every author and reader can coexist without competition. I want to be a part of AFF, even if I am just an observer hidden behind pixels.

It saddens me that I cannot be as active as I was when I first joined AFF. Back then, I had all the time in the world to create and write and read and comment. (Yeah, Grammar Nazi mode is turned off, but whatever.)     

If you read this blog, I would love to read your comments about my disjointed thoughts. Help me come to a decision, please, dear readers.

Thank you so much to all of you who have commented, subscribed, and upvoted my stories. I owe all of you an apology for being such a lousy Author.

I am so incredibly sorry.

I love you all.

Thank you,

nasomi2011