Dreams Don’t Turn To Dust

Review for: Katgirl

Reviewed by - ss501exolover

Date completed - 6/24/14

Title: 5/5 - Holy crud author-nim. I feel like this is the perfect title to your story. Everything from the beginning to the chapter that I stopped reading at (1-5, 32) I feel strengthens your title so much more. Each sentence in there with the strong feelings you successfully incorporated makes me want to think about how meaningful this title is. I enjoyed the fact that this title was able to generate many emotions just from a glance at it. It sounds as if it has angst, romance, fantasy, thriller, etcetera...and yet this story mainly focuses on romance/melancholy emotions! *clap, clap* very attention-capturing title!

Plot and Originality: 23/25 - This is one of those stories where the girl isn’t exactly the description of “perfect”, as we see in so many other stories. I love this piece of literature solely for this reason. You made it so that Hei-Ryung has a very questionable personality, which is a good thing for a character like hers. At the beginning, the whole scene with the commercials really made me curious about her and that’s what made decide that I was going to enjoy reading this story. It is very original. Youngjae as the main male lead is great! I love how you make him seem very optimistic at the beginning, intending to take over the company for his uncle and so on so forth. All in all, I like how you were able to introduce us to this new world in where there is such an amazing author who has some “disadvantages” in society. I personally enjoy reading stories like this and I feel like this is original to the point where it will be hard to have a cliche plot, no matter how many cheesy moments you want to put in, if you do put any in that is.

Grammar: 10/10 - Your grammar is undoubtedly, close to perfect. Your sentence structures and the choice of words/word usage was very well thought out and sounded professional. That’s all I can say, don’t expect any complaints!

Character Development: 16/20 - As I said before in the Plot/Originality category, I was fascinated to be able to read about such new and interesting characters. The thing which made me confused was the fact that there were so many character (at least for the chapters I read). Yes, I do realize that these characters all play some form of important role in the storyline, but having so many really boggles my mind. Seulki was developed nicely and so were our two main characters. Bi Dul was at the beginning, a very interesting character as to why Seulki doesn’t like him in the company and all that, but almost everyone else that I read about, I have no recollection about anything that is of importance relating to them. Complex characters are a good thing, but having so many appear in such few chapters tends to make it hard for a reader to follow through on who is who. Moving on, I was impressed with how you used similes and metaphors to better depict your characters. The first chapter made me almost laugh aloud with your very clear description about Hei-Ryung and her TV. That is the kind of character description I like best. It implicitly gives me a peek into what their lives are like. Same goes for the “Youngjae getting lost looking for his hotel room” scene.

Flow: 13/15 - The beginning was a really good pace. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you seem to be a type of writer who likes to take their time depicting each scene to its max, am I right? Each event that took place was explained very well and readers are able to create pictures and images in their head to compliment each scene. Though the pace might be considered slow to most people, I find it fitting this story very well. Out of the six chapters I read, I noticed that the latest updated chapter is really the only one with a cliffhanger ending, which is appreciated. Your story is developing nicely and could use some more excitement like cliffhangers! Remember what I said about too many characters? Keep them to a minimum because they can/might/possibly will be the cause of a disruption in how smoothly your plot runs along.

Description: 5/5 - The description was original and creative. The few small paragraphs at the front acted as a teaser of what to expect from your story and the few paragraphs talking about what writing meant to Hei-Ryung captivates the reader and gets them excited about this new character they are being introduced to. Though this isn’t part of the description, I just wanted to mention that I enjoyed reading your “dumbchaptertitles” as you call them. Each chapter gives away the sequence of events in that section very subtly, which is new to me. I’m tired of reading “chapter one” or “one” or “Chapter I”...finally some real titles, thank goodness!

Reader’s POV: 5/5 - Hands down, you are a very creative writer and your way of capturing the reader’s attention within your words reminds me of the Hei-Ryung that I know in your story! I thoroughly read each chapter I mentioned and found so many different things happening in this story which doesn’t happen in most other stories. I’m glad I got the chance to review your story! Who knows, maybe when I have more time, I’ll sit back and read this story as your subscriber rather than your reviewer! I mean, I will be reading it when I have free time, who wouldn’t? Your effort and hard work has persevered through each new happening and I honestly look forward to what is coming up next! Hwaiting author-nim!

Total: 77/85