Okay... before I'm going to rant, please allow me to apologize because I've taken your friend's blog space. And it's going to be a long rant, you can skip it if you want to.

This morning, I woke up as usual in 4.10 AM and I found that I received messages on my Kakaotalk Group. Usually, I can ignore the messages because they're basically rants from my friends. But this time, I can't ignore it. Why? Okay... let me tell you what the message contents are:

Friend 1: I have something to tell u girls.

Friend 1: I just got out of hospital on Sunday

Friend 1: I suicided on Saturday... overdose of pills ate 3 boxes.. and jumped and cut myself

Friend 1: They sent me to mental hospital and wanted to ward me into the assylum

Friend 1: But luckily when I saw people being crazy frightens me. So I told them im normal and answer the tests correctly and they released me. I wont do it again because I learnt a huge painful lesson coz of this my bf left me. Everyone is watching me now and im supposed to go to psychiatrist next monday.

And my reaction was WHAT THE HELL!! Seriously, that's the most stupid thing that my friend ever did to herself, tempting to suicide. I understand her reason for doing it: she just broke up with her boyfriend (the one that she believed that he's the right guy for her life), she's jobless, and not to mention the fact that she's no longer young anymore. But seriously, girl, attempt to suicide? *facepalms*

Honestly, I believe that I might be much older than all the people that I know here in AFF (except for one). Honestly, I also feel unsecure with my job right now and it's not my ideal dream job either. I'm also still single, I don't have boyfriend for over 10 years. I have lost the man that I believed the right one for me. And my life didn't go easy for me and my family after my father died; we always had financial issues back then (it's getting better now ever since I and my siblings have job).

But I love my life, I'm happy with whatever it is, and I can accept myself and my life even though I know its lacking in many ways. And every time I stressed out with my life, I try to talk with friends or do something positive, like writing, doing sports, dancing, singing or playing violin (yes, I'm learning violin).

So my beloved dongsaengdeul here in AFF, whenever you feel if life is going hard on you, please please please don't go berserk and do anything stupid such as attempting suicide; do something positive instead. Losing lover, being betrayed by friends and losing them, losing job, having financial problem or even hearing your idol dating are never worth to be traded with your life. They are just part of your life to test how strong you are. And believe me when I say that you are stronger when you managed to pass that moment. You are what you are now because of your life experience.

I'm saying this not because I don't understand life. I do understand. And after hearing my friend's confession earlier, I realize that I'm very much lucky for having a tremendous self-control and I might love myself more than I realize. And yes, I was telling her that she's stupid and gave her a long lecture along with my other two friends on that group chat (yeah, we're being too honest at her... but that's what friends are for). I even complained to her about how she choose to learn to love herself through the hardest way (she's 30 something for Christ's sake)

In the end, I'm glad that my friend is alright, that she's alive. I hope she really learns her lesson and can love herself more now. But no matter how hard you think your problems are, life is a precious thing and you really need to appreciate it more than anything in this world.