I just want to share how I feel for the issues about exo.

About Kris. I already thought that something like what happened to the other groups from SM will happen to them. I just didn't know that it will happen this fast. I'm not ready. As a fan from MAMA era, I saw how hard working they are as OT12 and I can't bear to see them now as 11. Well...at first I got mad at Kris because of his decision. How can he leave his children like that? After all those hard works? But now that I know what is the cause, I felt bad because I got mad. I'm sorry Kris. I was too hurt that I got blind and I got mad at you. I know you have a valid reason for leaving exo. Of course, it's hard to leave the members you were with through ups and downs. I trust you. I just got hurt too because I think the members are not supporting you. Saying that you're a traitor and stuff. Well...I don't know what really happened so I don't know why are they like that.

I got hurt too when Suho came up to the stage alone at M! (I think??) to receive their award and he even did an encore all alone. Where are the other members at that time? We are one right? We should be one through ups and downs but where were they? This was during Kris' issue and I think they might be crying backstage at that time but...how about Suho? He faked a smile on the stage while the others are on the backstage. I just got hurt for Suho. 

About digging up Baekhyun's past. What about it? Past is past guys. I don't care if Baekhyun smoked, did drugs, drank alcohol at a young age or whatever in his past. He doesn't live there anymore. I can see he changed right now. Move on. You can't judge Baekhyun just like that based on his past. If he did many wrong things in past, I believe he learned from them now and he's becoming a better person. I don't know why they're bashing Baekhyun because of this. It's all already in the past.

About Baekyeon. I don't have anything against those two. Actually, I'm a shipper of their couple because I find them cute with their idol-fan relationship and sunbae-hoobae relationship. It's just that, I got really shocked when I found out they're really confirmed dating now. I was in a vehicle on my way home that day when I received the news. I was really shocked and I didn't know what to feel. All I could think at that time was, "I'm a BaekYeon shipper and I'm not a Baekhyun biased but why do I feel like this?" Honestly, I got hurt. I got jealous. Well I was having a bad day at that time that's why I blamed the issue for having a bad day. I tried so hard not to feel betrayed but I still did. Feelings are feelings and humans are humans.

I got mad at EXO (not all the members, just some). Why? Because I felt like they're just playing with the fans' feelings. Saying stuffs like, "I'm going to marry a fan." "We think of your feelings too..." "I love you all..." "I don't need them, I have you guys..." "We are one forever..." "Together forever..." and such made me feel betrayed. I really do agree with what Heechul said that fans feel betrayed when idols say stuffs like these and date. I feel betrayed because they were the one who said that they will be OT12 forever and now they're 11. I wish that they haven't said anything like that in the first place. Words are words. Once they're said, you can never bring them back. Words can break you or make you. I hope idols will understand this. They shouldn't say sweet words just to please the fans. For me, as a fan, I don't want to be pleased with those kind of sweet words, I want the truth. Is it really hard to say the truth? They're humans too, I know. And us fans are humans too. Sometimes I think they get overjoyed by their status that they don't think of what they say anymore. They just say everything just to please the fans. Words that they can't even keep. They kept on saying We are one and yet...I feel that we're not really one.

Right now, I don't feel mad anymore. At first I was disappointed at them. They're my inspiration, my idols, and as cheesy as it may sound but my everything. It also came to a point where I thought about leaving them because they're hurting me too much and I needed some space. I thought I was the only one who thought that they're breaking their words (it started during Kris' issue). It came to a point when I can't even look at them anymore and I skipped their songs on my playlist because I can't bear to listen to them. But now, I'm glad I didn't let my angry self decide. As they say, "Don't make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings."

I want to apologize to Baekhyun or Kris because I got mad. I got carried away by my feelings. I didn't bash them nor Taeyeon but I got mad at them and I feel bad because I promised that I'll support them no matter what. I'm sorry if I felt betrayed, not only to Baekhyun or Kris but to the other EXO members. I realized that I don't want to leave. I supported them from the start, might as well continue the journey until the end, right? We have to stay strong because they need us. I feel bad because I got disappointed at them, thinking that I might've hurt them. I should support them. I feel sorry.

I just hope they realize that the words they say to the fans affect us big time. Words are not just said and forgotten. They just couldn't leave a "promise" (as they say) or whatever without thinking that it wouldn't affect the fans. I just hope they can understand how powerful their words are to the fans because they are idols. 

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I just need to get it out of my system. I'm sorry if you're not agreeing with me. This is just my opinion. 

I still love them, yes and I'm still supporting them. It's not the same feeling anymore, but I still love them.