First Fic

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/739390/one-word-romance-exo-luhan-sehun-hunhan-selu-highschoolau

 

So, yeaahhh..

This is my first time writing a fic..

I don't know..

But at least I'm trying to write as good as I can >.<

Can you guys please kindly check it out??

And feel free to give me some suggestion..

Please help me to write better :D

 

 

 

Thanks before~~

 

 

 

 

 

~Silfia

Comments

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my_deardiary
#1
It's good, and good luck for the upcoming chapters :)
But I'm kind of agree with the comments below, especially the word counts, if you're still gonna stick with a short chap, I think it would be nice if you put a tag 'chaptereddrabble'.
And for me, I don't encourage much for the author to make the story under subscription only bc eventually the readers will subs if they think the story is great.
Don't mind me, just a suggestion :)
hurricxne
#2
Here's a few tips and advice, my friend. Okay, so I am not exactly considered as an experienced writer nor is English my first language. But I'll try my best to help you.
Before I start correcting a few of your minor mistakes. Mind you, you are a waaayyyy WAAAAAAYYY (like not even kidding. I will show proof if I have to) BETTER writer than I was when I first wrote my fanfic. It was the epitome of cliche and just disastrous.

1.) It was a bright morning and Luhan was in a hurry..
Okay, first off. Detail is good. It is great. It will help readers to imagine the scene more vividly. So, try to be as specific as you can. But not too specific that you end up writing a whole essay about it and the readers are already dozing off by the end of your description of the scene.
It was a bright morning.
What do you think of when you wrote down bright morning? Depending of the setting of the story. Here are some suggestions to write about;
Were the birds chirping? Did Luhan hear the loud honks from the traffic outside his house? Where was his parents? How did Luhan wake up? What did he first see when he woke up. Did he even take a shower? How did he react when he found out he was late. How was he late? Did he wake up late? so on and so forth.

Secondly, I noticed you write down an extra dot in the end of your sentences. Okay, don't do that. No offence, but it kinda shows (hm.. what's the right word to use...) how an unprofessional(?) writer you are. It feels like you are talking and you are adding a pause in the end of your sentence. Don't forget, you are writing a story. Try to be as professional like a legit author when writing. You can be as unprofessional you want in the author's notes, this can give off that you are an approachable person. But don't go over the top with the author's note. Try keep it short and simple and also relates to the story.

5.) for the author note. instead of adding lots of empty lines and stuff. Just add a new page. or just say; Author's note: (A/N)
YeojaUiMongsang
#3
It's good, not gonna lie. For writing for your first time it was pretty ok. Like for the most part it made sense, like I was able to follow the story line of where the characters were and such, plus the spelling and grammer were nice as well accept for minor details but that's fine as long as ya know, you're not jumbling up a whole sentence or something. And even I still slip up with words too so it's totally fine. Now I don't want to tell you how to write your story, since it is yours so you make it how you want to, but I'm just gonna give some advice that I believe might be good for a first timer I guess based on my writing experience and reading others' work (please note this is probably one of my first times giving advice so bare with me >.<) 1) When writing a chaptered story, unless say it's like drabbles, I think it's good to at least have a chapter be a good length but also not too long. So for me regularly I want to be able to make my stories around/over I'd say 1200-1500 words or so, but that's just me. 2) It's nice to use detail in your story like how Luhan's stomach was hurting and you explained he was nauseous and threw up on Sehun. You could of gone into even more detail by saying something like Sehun looked up and his eyes widened at the sickly face Luhan was making then gasped in shock when he threw up on him, something like that depending on character personality and how they would react. But um, yeah, I think you're doing ok so far, just keep on trucking and you'll be amazing. If there are any specific questions you wanna ask then be my quest or if you wanna check out the style of how I write some of my fics to kinda help inspire you that's cool too. Hope this was able to help you out~
YeojaUiMongsang
#4
First fic! Yay!
I wish you good luck on your endeavors of being an author~