2008. I remember listening to 'Miracle' in 2008, without knowing what 'kpop' actually meant. I loved the song, I really found it a happy, carefree song, so I continued looking for other songs. However, I did not like 'Wonder boy' and 'Happiness' that much, and I was not instantly hooked to 'U', so slowly I did not searched for more. I did not took more time to listen to more, and continued listening to my back then favorite taiwanese boyband, Fahrenheit. I did not even know kpop was getting so popular back then, even though I did knew one of my cousins was listening to it. Back then, it just seemed interesting.

It was in 2009, when I heard another song from Super Junior. I still remember it clearly that I was looking for Boys over flowers amv's, and one amv instantly took my attention. I really, really loved the song, and I was eager to find out who the singer(s) was/were. And I was suprised: It was Super Junior. And even today, in 2011, it still remains one of my favorite kpop songs: "She's gone" from Super Junior. And then my search continued again, and I looked for more songs. It was weird, but I liked the chinese version of 'U', maybe it was the setting, or maybe it was just that I found it suprising to encounter Super Junior's songs again. Whatever it was, I was officially fan from Super Junior (M).

I did not like 'Sorry Sorry' that much in the beginning, but still, I had put it on replay so many times, and slowly, I was beginning to love it. For me, 'Sorry Sorry' still remains the best Super Junior album for me, and also the album I love the most from kpop. Every song of it, even though I did not know what they were singing, I memorized the titles (in english), and also, I memorized each member's name. I watched all kinds of variety shows, and even 'pushed' my brother to watch some with me, and he did enjoy it, sometimes. Even though I began with liking Kyuhyun, my attention would always wander to Donghae, since I loved the innocent smiles he always wore in the variety shows.

And so, I was slowly beginning to focus on Super Junior only, having a favorite, songs I loved, and a group I adored. I even slowly began to distinguish all their voices, and was able to tell when who was singing. They had affected me so much, and I could not even imagine a life without hearing one of their songs anymore. And then 'It's you' came out, which I absolutely love. I remember how happy and excited I was while I first listened to it, and since it was the first song of Super Junior I heard the moment they released it, it remained a special song for me.

Super Junior was the group who made me think that every group with less than 13 members, was not considered large. Super Junior was the one who brought me to kpop. Super Junior was the one who showed that there are indeed idols who had worked and are stil working hard as they walk the road to fame.

I remember eagerly waiting for 'Super girl' to come out. For me, 2009 is the year of Super Junior. They came out with a great title song, great album, and it was the year I got to know them fully. Indeed, 2009 would remain a memorable year for me.

Slowly, I began to broaden my kpop knowledge, if you can call it that, and found SHINee. They felt so young compared to Super Junior, and so... Different. I remember that I really loved the song 'Replay', once again a debut song. But I did not like 'Love like oxygen' and 'Juliette', and just like with Super Junior, I did not look for more. However, when they brought out 'Ring ding dong', I just instantly liked it. It was weird, really, but I just liked the song. And then, slowly, I began focusing on SHINee more, slowly forgetting my first kpop group.

There were other groups I began to like temporalily, one by one, since I would only fancy one group at the time. And then, it was announced that Super Junior would come back with 'Bonamana', and instantly, all my attention went to them. I began looking about them more again, and realized that this was the band I loved the most. Indeed, this was the best group, in my eyes. My favorite had already changed into Kyuhyun, even though I would still focus on Donghae sometimes. However, it is just so hard to maintain a favorite in Super Junior, even after all this time, since I love every one of them. They are all great, really. And I wished they would get the best in return. I remember that on the last days of the year, with all the festivals, I wished they would continue to do their best, and I would do so with my own life.

And now, skipping some time again,  have landed in the year before Leeteuk will go into the army, with some having left for the army before him. I have seen the group getting smaller.. Smaller... And I could feel the time ticking. Even now.

Why am I writing this? Well, maybe I just want to write it down for myself, showing myself how I came in to kpop. But actually, it was the song 'It's you' from Super Junior that brought back all these memories. Sometimes I would even think: Why did not I listened to their music earlier? Foolish, though, and I realize that, but I think understandable. Over the years, I realized that even though my heart would sometimes waver to other groups, it would always go back to Super Junior. No matter what I do, they will always catch my attention.

When other boy groups bring out new albums, songs, I would not be as excited as when Super Junior brings out a song, an album. I remember how excited I was when 'Mr. Simple' came out, and I listened to it non-stop. There is no one like Super Junior, and I will always stand by it. Even though I love INFINITE, SHINee and Teen Top, but if I would only be able to listen to one kpop group, I would not hesitate to say Super Junior. And I am happy I finally realized that. And I will continue to support them, even when they are slowly falling apart, since I believe they will come together again. And if they do not, I will believe that the time they spent together, were mutual.

And this remember me about when Hangeng released his own album, and I forgot which year it was... 2010? I remember writing on my iPhone, while listening to one particular song on his album, 'Say no', that I would not get mad if Super Junior where to fall apart. Because I believe they worked hard as one when being in Super Junior, and that that should be enough to last as memories. I did not, and still do not want to ask for more than that, since as long as it is they that decided it, I would accept it with no anger. Because I know, one day, they will still have to part. Because I know that even though Super Junior may be something memorable in their hearts, they all may have different goals they want to reach. Actor, singer, variety host, musical actor, radio host; they would have to part sooner or later, but as long as the name Super Junior still lives on, then I am content.

And that is why Super Junior will always be precious to me. No matter what, Super Junior will always be Super Junior. I just selfishly want them to have the best they can get, but in the end, I want them to be able to do what they want. Even when one day, there would only be one member left in Super Junior, I would still love Super Junior, love each member. That is what I want, and what I will hold onto.

Therefore, my first story in 2012, named 'Perfectionism', will be about Super Junior. I want it before Leeteuk goes into the army, and I will do my best to do so. It is just my way... To show how much Super Junior means to me :). Because they do mean a lot to me, they do :). I listened to their music when I was learning, having hard times, feeling happy, and much more, and I will never forget that :).

18:15 PM, 21 december 2011

Tinywings