KRIS AND OT11

Warning: This is entirely my opinion.

These past days have been a storm of mixed emotions. To someone like me who uses writing for the expression of feelings, I just want to state a few more things before either saying hello or goodbye. 

EXO is the only boy group who has fully introduced and brought me to the Kpop world. Back then I used to wonder what is it about the growing popularity of Kpop. Until my friend sort of convinced me to give EXO a try. And I did. I began with watching their teaser videos to searching the members' names. Kai was my first bias, because he is in more than half of the teasers and I seem to like guys who dance well. 

I didn't immediately fell for both the sub-groups. I didn't like EXO-M at first. Then it happened. EXO made a comeback in 2013 as ONE. They promoted and performed together. That's when I've started to love EXO-M as well. The Wolf and Growl Eras were for me their best yet. Then came MID days and the many awards that they've won on music shows and international events. I will never tire of supporting them because they made me appreciate the Korean and Chinese music. They inspired me to become a better person. To never give up on following my dreams. Because right before they became big, they were trainees. These boys have worked hard and are still working hard for the future. 

Let's face it. Once you become an EXO-stan, get ready to have your bias list ruined every once in a while. Kris has joined mine since the pilot episode of EXO's Showtime. I used to dislike him. I'd tell my friends that I find him so proud-looking. It's like he knows to himself that he is handsome and he gets the fangirls crazy. 

Kris is EXO-M's leader. He leads the whole EXO together with EXO-K's leader Suho. He usually is the one who speaks multi-languages in their winning speeches. By doing that, he had interacted not only with Korean EXO-stans but international fans as well. Despite his 'uhms' in between sentences. Next to my first EXO fanfic, I wrote another for Kris. My subscribers know this. And when you write about a certain ship/OTP or an idol, that means those people have made a great impact on you. 

Two months ago, we all know about Overdose comeback. We couldn't wait to see the boys sing and dance on-stage again. They had their second mini album comeback and recently, their showcase in Shanghai. When I look through photos and fancams, the members seem happy. Never did I think or imagine that Kris would actually file a lawsuit days before their 1st solo concert. This came in as a shock not only to me but to everyone else. There was the hashtags and tweets that continued for days. Members unfollowing Kris on Instagram, rumors of SM staff confiscating their phones and Kris posting a note on his IG account. Which did I believe? To be honest, I told myself I'd be on Kris's side. But telling this didn't mean that I'd be against EXO's side. Because when I told myself that I believe in Kris (and hashtagged that on Twitter) I didn't mean it to be him vs. EXO but him vs. SM. It simply meant that I do hope he makes the right decision (whatever that is) and I will support him no matter what. 

It hurts. It hurts thinking that it hasn't even been a decade since EXO debuted. It hurts thinking that if only this didn't happen, OT12 will always be present in every stage performance there will be. But. It did happen. That's what is real. 

No official statements yet. No confirmations. No whatever. Fans have already taken sides and defended. I personally don't want to. And I will not. I love Kris. I love EXO with Kris. But even if Kris comes back (which I think wouldn't happen) it won't be the same anymore. The members were hurt. They felt betrayed. Let us understand this. They've been together for years. The fact that the group consists of twelve members and Kris didn't choose even one to confide this problem with. That's tough. I wish he did. The same way that I wish anyone from the eleven members to understand his situation too. Kris made a choice and that is to leave EXO. OT11 also made a choice, and that's to go on without him. 

I know this is sad for all of us (if you're an EXO-stan). There are things about the issue that we want and do not want to believe. Some fans have become too paranoid; trying to oversee and over-analyze things. What we need now is not a fandom war. We need to still be here for EXO. If that means being here for them minus a twelfth member, why not? I say why the hell not? They deserve our love. When you're a fan, you will always be one. Please don't leave them now when they badly need you. I don't mean we should forget about Kris because damn, I myself won't do that. Here's my point though. Kris is being silent through all of this (whether this was planned or not). We have no idea what's going to be on the news today or later on. We are clueless about the real story because EXO and SM are the only ones who do. At some point, we've all become judgmental when this news first came out. I admit that myself. I am sure of one thing though. That even if Kris goes on as a solo artist or debut as a new actor, and EXO continues to exist with eleven members, I'll be here for them. I hope the best for both sides. I loved EXO as twelve. In the next few days, well, it is happening now, you won't be seeing Kris stand there with D.O., Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Suho, Kai, Sehun, Tao, Chen, Xiumin, Lay and Luhan. But time heals all wounds. I hope they never forget all the good memories they once shared as OT12. They'd be making new memories. Let's not be selfish and give that opportunity to them. 

Let's love. In May 23-25 let's show it. In Kris's Instagram let's show it too. Don't bash. We are all hurting. We are all starting again. We can do this. WE ARE ONE. I love you guys. 

-Karenchii