*Sigh* I guess everyone has a feeling to this topic right? Wether it be grief, anger, or even glee. All I know is you're feeling something... But me... I don't know what to feel... If I can let me start in the beginning...

"EXO is going to be a hit!" 

"They're going to be the new stars of K-pop!" 

"EXO gains ultimate popularity!"

I heard sentences like these and many more for the past two years. And in all honesty I was angry, despised them to the core. Weird huh, how I started to hate on one of my favorite groups. But I couldn't help it. I thought that EXO would take the place of the previous kings, and that they would be pushed back and uncared for. So to say my first reaction to them was extremely negative yet I never listened to a song of theirs nor did I search them up. All I know at that moment was that they were an enemy.

And so the thought continued for a whole year until 8 months ago. While listening to K-pop I came across their song Wolf. Although I still hated them, curiosity got the better of me as soon as I saw the views. Clicking on it, I frowned throughout the song as my eyes followed the movements of the members. I thought how powerful this music was and that I should hate it. But the word “Should” was the key. I couldn't stop myself from replaying it. I really couldn't, my hands wouldn't slide over to the close button but instead to the replay. And I can't help but nod to the beat and sing with the lyrics I soon memorized. It was an infectious melody and I fell in love with the song.

I wondered to myself then, what was this? How did my feelings change after one song? But that washed over me for I busied myself watching every single music video they released. The music shows, reality shows, variety shows. Everything. As days go by, EXO was reaching to be on the top of my favorite list. I can list the members in age order and I could recognize the song just from the first beat. I realized that I became a fan an EXOtic… But I was fine with it, ecstatic even.

I continue to support the group and cheer for them when they need it, and for every award won. I smile when I see the members, I laugh when I saw their first reality show and I vote for them for the awards. I really love this group and everything was going smoothly.

Present Time

Overdose came out. A concert was going to take place. Yes everything was perfect, a fan’s dream. That is until yesterday took a toll on me.

The words, “Wu Yifan filed a lawsuit against SM” had me speechless. Literally speechless. Tears were welling in my eyes as I read the articles and I couldn’t believe it. Kris was going to leave SM?

At first I was in sadness. Why would he want to leave? The group was and still is successful as ever! They’re at the peak of their careers and this “bomb” suddenly dropped on us. I didn’t know what to say so I never said anything throughout the day and maybe I won’t say anything today either. I do “Speak” virtually but I won’t utter a word for now. This was shocking and every fan can agree.

From the case of JYJ and Hangeng, and now Kris! SM never learns! But then again I can’t say anything to that…

So this is what I’ll say:

To Kris:

            I’m sorry. I know you have a reason for this but I can’t help but curse at you silently in my mind. I’m sorry I can’t take your side but I won’t take SM’s sides as well. I’m sorry that I’m not being a supportive fan, and that I’m shedding tears and wising for you to stay when you want to leave. I know that this decision is up to you, and that we can’t stop you. I just hope that this is what you want. I wouldn’t want you to live with regret right?

To SM:

            I won’t say much to you. You’ve already have this problem before and I wish that you will learn. I’m not critiquing you and going to blame you for all this, but change your ways and take the idols thoughts into consideration.