Am I upset? That's actually an understatement. I'm really depressed by the news I read about during my free time today. My day was going pretty well. I went to my college English and Global class, grabbed some McDonald's with some friends, and headed back to school for my class that would occur later in the day. That's when I decided to go on Tumblr and reblog some stuff and see what was going on. I grew so confused when I saw all these negative comments about SM and their CEO, Kim Youngmin. Then I saw something about along the lines of "kris vs sm" and that's where I had to get off and search what was going on.

The very first thing I saw on Google was the headline "EXO's Kris seeking to nullify contract with SM Entertainment" and I just felt my heart drop. I read the whole article, I read what Suho had to say about it, I read what Tao had to say about it, and I read what Chanyeol and Sehun had to say about it. Needless to say I was devastated by the news.

Our Chinese Leader, Kris Wu, filed a lawsuit against SM and stated that he wants to leave. The shock just left me so numb to the point where I couldn't handle anything afterwards and had to tell my other friends who were fellow fans. Their reaction was similar to mine and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was so distracted during physics that I could barely get through my test review packet. I had to talk to someone about it and I thank my friend for listening to me.

I'm just so shocked by his sudden decision. EXO had just recently released their new mini-album and they're preparing for their upcoming concert. With this news out there, I just don't know what to do.

Two years. It's only been two years since EXO had debuted and they already got their name out there despite their short debut time. That's extremely impressive although the fact that they were under SM helped them a bit but I digress.

I remember watching their showcase online and just falling for the handsome and talented twelve member group that went by the name of EXO. The only person I could really identify at first was Kai since he had nearly half the teasers, D.O because of his large eyes, and Kris, the Chinese leader with the thick eyebrows and same last name as me. I watched their music videos and I was just blown away by how amazing they were and that was when I fell for them.

I remember waiting a year for Wolf (which wasn't exactly the best song but not my point) and then getting Growl straight after. Then came along Miracles in December and now Overdose.

I remember their first win and the tears and smiles that they all shared. Their hardwork had finally paid off and I was extremely proud.

When Overdose was released, I was ecstatic to see that this amazing group came back with yet another mind blowingly awesome song. I was so excited to see them all perform and I would just sing along and cheer as I watched the video.

Now that this news that Kris wants to leave is thrown at me, I just can't understand what's going on anymore.

Although I love all the members of EXO, Kris has a particularly special place in my heart along with Kai and D.O. I often for being a "" or a "special boy" but I obviously don't mean it. His actions just make me face palm and groan at how strange he can get but I love everything about him. I love his thick eyebrows. I love his lips. I love his eyes. I love his sweet smile. I love the way he raps. I love the way he sings. I love how he has his own character and sticks to it even though it can be a bit ridiculous. I just love him.

This news of him leaving hit me right in the heart. I can understand why he wants to leave. Hangeng and JYJ left for the exact same reasons and I'm not surprised that another artist decided to speak up about it. But he also should've know what he was getting into since he's in SM, the company known for their "slave contracts". Of course, I would also understand why he chose that company since it's one of the Big Three in South Korea but I kind of wish he hadn't made this decision so suddenly.

I do know that being an idol in South Korea basically means selling your body to the company you're under and doing everything you're told to do. And I also know that it means leaving your loved ones behind and having no more privacy. If I was given the chance to be an idol in Korea, I would reject and stick to being the boring me because I like my privacy and I like being able to do what I want without being judged but I digress once again.

I really wish Kris waited a bit longer before filing this lawsuit. After all, it has only been two years since he's actually been the music industry. Plus, the timing he chose really affected SM's stocks (I think it fell a total of 6%) as well as EXO's promotions. Have you seen the look on the EXO-K boys' faces today in the backstage footage at Mnet? They all looked tired and lethargic. That just really got to me. The boys that were always playful are now all serious and gloomy, making me feel gloomy as well.

Do I want Kris to leave? Of course not. I want him to stay with them and continue to promote as the twelve member boy group that I've grown to love so much. EXO just wouldn't be the same without him. They wouldn't "be one" anymore.

If Kris does happen to leave? I'll respect his decision and still continue to love him no matter what he does because he left that deep of an impression on me.

If Kris doesn't leave? That'll make me super happy but I'll also pity him. He'll have to stay under the company and abide by their rules until his contract ends and that just a lot. However, I do wish that he'll get some adjustments in his contract so that he'll be able to stay with his eleven brothers and promote happily by their side.

No matter what happens, I'll respect his decision and continue to support him. I just want him to be remembered as Kris Wu, one of the leaders of EXO who was out of this world and left a deep imprint on the fans' hearts.

Stay strong, EXO.

Stay strong, Kris.

I sincerely hope that you will still "be one".

Thanks for reading this far if you did. I just really needed to get this off my heart.

I love you, Wu Yifan.