TITLE (5/5)
The title fits the story very well, as it indicates Onew's heart, and himself, are forever within Taemin. The capitalization is also correct.
 
APPEARANCE (3/5)
 The appearance is good, though the description's layout is more one of a character profile than a description. The chapter layout is great, as it's simple and easy to read. I like what you did with the chapter indications, plus the added photos above.
 
DESCRIPTION/FOREWORD (10/15)
The description isn't entirely describing the story as it should, and it also has some grammatical errors - "he knows he doesn't have much time left to live. it's so sad to see someone so young die, but strangely he was okay with it." There should be a comma between strangely and he, plus there should be proper capitalization at the beginning of each sentence.
 

PLOT/CHARACTERIZATION (27/30)

I enjoyed the plot overall, it's very sweet yet saddening at the same time. The characterization was a little off, as the characters showed sudden emotions out of the blue, rather than developing it with time.

GRAMMAR/ SPELLING (15/30)

There are quiet a few mistakes that ruin the flow of the story, such as the lack of punctuation in certain aspects, and the use of 'threw' where it should be 'through.' The grammar could use a bit of work so that your writing becomes more understandable. As a note, try starting a new paragraph when skipping ahead in time as to not confuse readers. Your detailing is both good and not-so, as you tend to detail certain parts less than you do others.

FLOW (6/10)

The flow of the story is okay, aside from the grammatical errors, and the plot progression isn't very sudden, which is good. Don't try to rush things along, though.

OVERALL ENJOYMENT (3/5)

I liked it, I will be reading future chapters - The story is interesting, as it's plot goes from one end to the other, looping with an endless flow to build up anticipation in the readers minds.

TOTAL (69/100)