Long time no post! Sorry, I've just been emotionally numb lately and fell into a mild depression. I'm better now, though.

I hope I can get back to writing soon. My mind is just too clouded right now, sowwy...

Guys... My crush is growing bigger.

I'll describe it, but please don't tell me I'm in love... I am in denial BUT... I feel as if I could sit looking at him forever and I would never get tired. I love when he's looking at me and when he smiles, it kills me to hold back my urge to attack his adorable face with a million kisses, because he's incredibly dear to me. He's a child, but if he suddenly gets a business-related call, he turns into an independent, serious and confident adult who's got all his together and everything figured out. I adore this about him.

He is the only man who can make me bite my tongue or lose my head. The ME who is never at a loss of words can barely make any sense. We went out on a picnic this Friday, with everyone from the dance school and any lock I had put on my feelings, he managed to break with a lingering glance or a sincere smile. He's not gorgeous, but he's everything I want and need right now. The way my name sounds when spoken by his lips is surreal. It sounds as if nobody calls me that but him. He rarely calls me by my name - he usually calls me "you", it's a thing he does - so I'm not used to it, but I love it.

I even like it when he teases me and I like to back. It feels so natural when he touches me, as if his hands should be on me every second of the day. I wish he'd just grab my face and kiss me already, because it's all I can think about when he brings his face inches away from mine... I can't brush off the image of his face as I was passionately telling him the story of one of my favorite character's death in The Hunger Games. He had said he saw the movies and I was trying to explain which one it was and he just sat there with a smile spread across his face, which was beautiful, but what I was telling him was tragic and he seemed a little amused!

So I supposed he was teasing me again, lying about having seen the movies, so I voiced my suspicions and to my surprise, he had really seen them... He was smiling at me and it was the loveliest smile he'd ever shown me.

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Funny story:

It wasn't all so romantic. We were playing a game and we formed a line, sitting in between the legs of the person behind us. I was at the end of the line, he was in front of me and I had to grab a bottle and ran up to the front. When the bottle reached him, he ran in front and sat in front of me again, but because the guy in whose lap I was sitting hadn't spread his legs, I couldn't do it either so as he was running he yelled: YOU, SPREAD YOUR LEGS! And both me and his best friend(who was keeping the score) said: So straight forward! :O

It was funny, haha. Lately, his best friend seems to like teasing me too, but I don't mine. They are both respectful and their jokes are not mean.

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Unrelated:

Here's a new choreo we learned on Thursday, check it out(it's public - I am the one in blue on the left). I sent him 3 songs and he picked this one(he even told me he'd check them out when he gets home). The thing is, he rarely answered me on facebook before and now he told me he would check out the songs even before doing it. He also put a kissing emoji at the end(made me blush and smile dumbly the whole day. he only started doing this lately). I was very happy when he told me we were gonna do a choreo on a song I picked and he seemed just as happy when I started jumping around and said "yeah, I really likes this song." and smiled.