i don't care if nobody see this blog...but i really want to write right now....and if you came across this blog, i hope you can give me some motivation cause i really really need it..... what a life....i feel so so low-self esteem right now. its like everyone around me have a good luck, but me....i always thought about this all day long-- every time i expected things to happen, it always turn out become something opposite, or a bad luck to be exact....so, i dont want and never wanted to expect anything, even if it's not that big deal...i have this friend of mine and she is my bestfriend (the most closest with me), she is a top student in the school, everyone love her, everyone like her and most of the thing is nobody hates her (not that i want them to hate her) she always got good luck....she got it everyday...and im kinda envied her a lot, for that i mean a LOT, but more to jealous....and of course, most of the time i want to be her, not to be like her, to be her....-sigh- *.* i always got problem, in school, in home and the only place where i can hide my feelings is via facebook...and when everything gets worse, i cried...but i tell you, im not a crybaby kind of person...sometimes i think, what's the point of life?? i feel so worthless...-sigh- and when i write this i almost cry, thinking all the problems i got....why i cant live a good life like other people....WHY???!!!! and somehow i dont like myself and my life...*sobs*