Do you know how close I was to losing my mind, how close I was to confessing what was going on? I was going to tell my mother about my senior, something that had bothered me for ages. But my parents, they continue to use that tone. Telling me, "You'd better stop it". What, you think that's going to make me stop crying? Who do you think you are? You are my parents, failed parents. Failed parents, because what the hell are you doing with your life, doing something that you don't like, marrying someone and deciding that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all. 

I'm feeling better right now, but I can't stop thinking of my senior. It haunts me for ages, you see. It is so controversial that I do not dare to reveal anything more regarding my senior. The rumours would hurt her. And it hurts, because I can't find a certain someone to confide in. Because if I reveal the secret, many others will. It's been so long, but I can't forget her. And it's driving me crazy. Every sad thing reminds me of her. When I'm feeling bad, I think of her. I would think of her face, because I can't forget her. Because the world may forget her but I can't. 

It's been a few months. They say it's going to hurt less but it doesn't. I can't stop thinking, it's worse than you think, because I can't reveal anything. It hurts, it hurts so bad.