(credit to the one who made this pic ^^)

    1st year of knowing TVFXQ! Hm...Where should I start? I guess from the beginning, from when I first found out about them. I remember so clearly how much knowing them changed my opinion about kpop. It was the greatest yet the worst thing that happened in my life. I am glad that I was able to make it in time for thir 10th anniversary~! 

    It was March 15, 2013 when my sister introduced me to them.  She ordered all the facts to prepare me for the shock of my life. At that time, when she told me it was about kpop, I was like, “who cares...its kpop, nothing but pretty faces”. She first showed me the Mirotic poster of them and then she slowly taught me their names, starting with their stage names, which were easier to remember. Once I learned their manes, she helped me recognize them. Moving on, she showed me videos. The first video of TVFXQ I saw was, “The Kings Men Parody. (Jaejoong was such a girl and poor Changmin!) Anyways...we watched more and more and more. At the end of the day, she told me that two of them are “gay”. Ok, not “gay” but one of them is very feminine. Since I was never into stuff, I thought it was very weird. I spent the night thinking about them and of course, wondering who the “gay” ones are.

    The next day, March 16 2013, we started to listen to them sing. The first song I ever heard from them was “Why Did I Fall In Love With You- live at a nation” It was breathtaking. I remember unconsciously holding my breath as they sang. At that moment, Jaejoong instantly became my bias. I asked my sister why they were singing Japanese when they’re Korean. She then showed me songs like Mirotic, Hug and Always There. The MV for Always There never fails to prove how good they are. Honestly, now days, can any group have an MV with just them singing and snapping? I don’t think so.

    The next thing she introduced to me was YunJae. I was shocked at first when I watched their “moments”. As I said before, I didn’t like . She showed me more and more videos and of course showed me evidence and interpretations and fortune telling stories. Before I know it, I was comfortable with them and I really, really shipped them. (This is why i’m here!) Soon the “torturing” part came...she made me watch Dangerous Love (we mainly only watched the YunJae part because the other parts weren’t that interesting LOL). I remember falling off chairs and banging my knee on tables to literally rolling of the floor laughing and running out the room. Even now, I’m not able to watch it without squealing, jumping up and down, and not hurting myself. I remember wanting to search TVFXQ online myself, but my sister refused and said that there was something that I shouldn’t know yet.

    The next day came and I was so excited to learn more about them, not know what was coming. That night, my sister reminded me for their close friendship, how perfect their harmony was and how loving YunJae was. We searched up videos again but she accidently clicked on “Catch Me”. When I saw the two people in the MV, I thought nothing of it. I just thought,”Isn’t there 5 people? Oh, must be one of those sub-group things”. Then...My worst nightmare came. She told me about the lawsuit. I remember literally bursting into tears. Through the tears all I remember seeing was videos of two and three people. My sister explained to me why the lawsuit took place and videos of how JYJ still wanted to be with the other two. Everything else after was just a blur. All I remember was waking up the next morning with swollen eyes.

    Days passed as I became obsessed with TVFXQ. Computer files were full of their pictures, full of YunJae fanfiction, and online profile pictures were of them. Everything was them. I soon got so many posters that my room is full, I got phone cases of them, a pillow case of them (one side YunJae and one side TVFXQ), I bought all their concerts, all the songs in my phone are theirs, and I even bought two rings and two bracelets with “Always Keep The Faith” and “YunJae” engraved on it. I even celebrated YunJae anniversary and their 10th anniversary by buying a cake.

    Kpop was always a, “I’m never going near it” kind of thing for me. Who would have known that I would listen to Kpop. Ok, not Kpop but DBSKpop since I don’t really listen to any other group. So I usually say, “Im a DBSKpop fan, not a Kpop fan”. It really wasn’t until I heard TVFXQ was it that I knew what harmony is. The way they sang their acapellas, the way they dance, just them, no other Kpop group can ever compare. They truly are the “rising gods”, they’re a legend. If not for them as well as some other groups, I don’t think Kpop would ever be as popular as it is today. And in all honesty, I would never be here if not for them.  I fell in love with them first because of “Why Did I Fall In Love With You” and that’s a Tohoshinki/ Jpop song, so basically, I would have stuck with Jpop.

    How can people not be proud of Yunho, Changmin, Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu? Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu had to start all over, not being able to appear on TV for promotion, have a lawsuit with AVEX who interfered with their activities under the influence of SM, and yet, they are still the top few male artists in Kpop. Yunho and Changmin had to start all over with more than half the group gone, and that half was their main vocalists in the group. They weren’t able to sing most of their songs and they were on hiatus during the time when Kpop was spreading worldwide. Do you know how hard it was for them to stand on stage as a duo? And even then, they are still the top few artists in Kpop. They paved the way for idols now to go to Japan.They lived up to their name...”rising gods of the east”.

    They were one of the few groups in which all the members were well rounded. They could all sing and dance and had the looks along with the humorous side. Their live performances never fail to impress and surprise me. The worked so hard.  Jaejoong, Junsu and Yoochun left because they wanted fair treatment. What’s wrong with that? Yunho and Changmin stayed to protect their name and all their achievements of rising in Korea, to starting all over in Japan to rising again. However the lawsuit did bring some good. It brought fairer contracts since the law got involved. Also they all improved since they all got more/longer parts and solos.

    People around me say that I’m living in the past. I am. I admit it, but why can’t I? People say I’m lying to myself and that it’s almost impossible for them to comeback as five. Maybe I am Lying to myself, but what’s wrong with that? Isn’t that why Cassiopeia’s motto is “always keep the faith”? There’s proof that JYJ still keep in contact with Super Junior members although they aren’t allowed to contact Yunho and Changmin. The five of them still mention about the times when they were five. TVFXQ taught me how to keep my faith. They taught me how important friendship is and how strong it is. They taught me to not give up. They are always able to make me smile and laugh no matter how horrible my day was.

    I will wait for them. I will wait for my five gods to return. And when that day comes, it will be the happiest day of my life. Listening and watching their old performances never fail to give me mixed emotions. Happiness from the perfect harmony and sadness that it is all in the past. I’ll wait, I’ll wait until I see Junsu, Yoochun, Jaejoong, Changmin and Yunho perform on the same stage, singing the same melody, dancing to the same beat and finishing it with their perfect harmony. The silent vow I made before, I'll never forget. Once a Cassie, always a Cassie. When I entered this fandom, I knew that it was going to be painful, but I’m not going to leave either. 

When your journey as five began, I was not there.

When your journey as five ended, I was not there.

But when your journey as five starts once again, I will be there.