9873497358949 done with this site

it's gotten me too angry lately

and also, so have a lot of it's users

i won't delete because im still co-writing with emily and aff is literally the only source of connection i have to certain people

all fics are locked though and all updates will only be posted on my tumblr and lj

writing fics has stopped being fun for me. it's a life lesson for me that once something stops being fun or giving me joy, i need to stop because it will only make me sad and further depress me. i think i stopped having fun a long time ago, i just kept on writing because i was glad that at least a little bit of people enjoyed my writing. but i shouldn't write for that feeling i get from writing it, i should be reveling in the feeling of writing for myself. i think i stopped writing for myself a long time ago too, i just got confused and i just kept trying to justify it to make myself feel better, but that's wrong. 

it wasn't like i was an awesome writer anyways /shrugshurg

so this site isn't losing anyone.

but yeah, fic just aint doing it for me anymore and frankly, neither is kpop. i mean, im still going to like kpop and im probably still going to write fic, but not right now. both aren't helping my current condition and a lot of people on this site just piss me off.