Hey friends! I havent posted a blog post in a while and the last one was pretty depressing lol. but anyway, everything has gotten better and my mom is now working from home and I have actually made some friends in a theatrical group! I have been thinking of so many ideas for some new fanfics but sadly I CANNOT WRITE WORTH ANYTHING! Ugh it is so frustrating because I know that my ideas would make for a good story but everytime I try to write it out I end up butchering it and can never get the idea across. you can tell from the time I actually tried to publish my last story on here lol. its a sad lifeT.T but for real if any of you guys want ideas for a story just tell me and I will let you use it! as long as I am credited <,< I have been writing down my dreams recently and they always make out for a good storyline~ 

I orderd some circle lenses from eyecandys and in november 2013 and its now almost february 2014 and they havent arived yet~ I am realy disappointed. but I did email eyecandys about it and they replied instantly and said that the circle lenses were now in the post offices care and so they could do nothing about it. so when my mom gets back from her business trip we  will go check on them at the post office to see if they got lost or something. 

one more thing thats happening now. I recently have been fighting an eating disorder. anorexia nervosa to be exact. and its killing me!! Its been going on for a while and my parents dont know about it still. but I am trying to fix it on my own. I am the one that started it anyway. I thought to myself a few months ago that I needed to lose some wieght so I went on the paleo diet. which is basically no carbs or processed foods. that started well and I lost some weight but I wasnt satisfied. I looked up the word skinny on google images and all I saw was bones and skin. I was determined to look like them and so I clicked on the skinniest picture and the word anorexic popped up. I had heard of anorexia before but I didnt realize it was an actual disorder. so I decided I was going to be anorexic. stupid decision. I started eating less until I didnt even get hungry anymore. I could go an entire day eating nothing and not feel the slightest bit of hunger. I was proud of myself. I had lost 10 pounds! I was 93 pounds. I soon realized how unhealthy it was after coming across an article on anorexia and decided It was about time I stopped dieting. but I didnt realize that I was now ADDICTED to not eating. the thought of putting food into my mouth, chewing, and swallowing was repulsive! I wanted to lose weight and and even though I was 93 pounds I still thought I needed to loe weight. It became a daily struggle simply trying to get at least 500 calories into my body. after shedding a lot of tears at night and trying my hardest to force myself to eat, I am slowy gaining it all back. I started out 103 pounds and I am now 98 so just a few more to be back to normal:) 

Thank you for reading!!! and dont forget to add me as a friend~ I will accept you! I will try to update when I can. ByeBye~~~ ^^