No matter how much heat I put in this house, I still feel cold. Mom and dad leave for work before I wake up. Leaving me here, alone. I watch some tv but I still have this feeling lingering inside me. I don't know what it is and I cannot find a word in the dictionary to describe it. To call it yearning, would be like calling the ocean water. But no matter what, this feeling remains and it fills be up and swallows me whole from the inside. And spits me out again. It is so lonely so I decide to take a nap. I lay in my sister's bed and cover myself in the soft sheet that has her smell. I can feel where she lays. And that feeling will remain. When it finally starts to get dark outside, I start running my bath as hot as it can go. I slowly sink into the water and my skin turns red from the contact of the hot water. I can feel the unclean melt away into the water and dissolve into the drain. But there is a feeling that remains. That has always been there, and no matter how hard I scrub, it stays. I pull the plug and the water goes down the drain. I turn the cold shower on and I get a chill from the drastic difference from hot to cold. I feel my body come back together from melting away. I lay on my bed. My pillow getting soaked from my wet hair and tears. And I think, 'Will everyday be like this? Will it never change?' everyday, I am alone. Everyday, i wake up after my parents leave and I fall asleep before my parents even get home. And the cycle repeats. I hate homeschooling. This is my life.