1. My cats are vicious parrot killers

2. I am 99.9% sure my dyslexia has gotten worse. Martha is not Martina

3. Despite my friend's pleas I am not a plant. I repeat, I am not a plant

4. Playing would you rather on the bus back home will lead to the bus driver thinking I'm a drug addict

5. The bus driver will run into parked cars and leave, suspecting nobody has seen LIES