I just want to put my feelings out cause i know some people might read this and could understand the stuff i go through.

So me and bob are nothing now. We talked and i asked him if he still likes me and he said no. Which made me feel amazing cause i didnt have to impress anyone anymore. But then he sat at my table during lunch and he sat right across from me. All my friends talked to him instead so i put my headphones in and listen music talking to my online friends. and i saw my friends do stuff with him that hurt me cause i feel like everyone makes him seem like a king but i dont want to be near him. Like on the bus home from school i was thinking of everything and how he hurt me so much i started crying on the bus. 

It shows that one person can easily break you. And you can get blame for being broken. Bob blames me for all his past realtionships, 

But like now i say i don't like him but every time i see him, I see hurt in his eyes and i just want things to go back to before. 

My cloesest friend asked me, Why am i showing it like i hate him, Did i only care for him cause i liked him

And i thought about it. I care for him so much. He was the first guy who ive been like this. He was the first guy i held hands with. He gave me empty promises. I still care for him. When we had a cold front coming over and it went down to the 30s i message him saying warm something warm its gonna be cold.

This is example of in the cloest gay, Bob told me he was basiclly gay. But never dated a guy. I think i was his frist guy who had the mrutal feeling. 

But the first reason he told me we couldnt date or be like together was because his mom.

He said his mom could find out about me.

I mean yeah my family could find out too but i still wanted to take the chance.

Its over now though..

I want him back.

Even if im a serect.

Even if im his serect lover behide close doors.

I want him with me and only me

Sounds selflish but i think i do love him

Ive been so hurt by my ex girlfirends that i dont ever tell anyone i love them 

And im admiting i love Bob.

But its over its over 

I'm gonna move on

My Best friend is setting me up with a guy and im like okay if i can get over bob easier then ill date anyone ill date a freaking cactus 

But this shows everyone

You don't need that "Bob" in your life to make you happy

I'm not saying if you find your bob that you should ingore them 

No go after them have them fight for you and you fight for him or her

Bob didnt try hard enough for me even though i try my all for him

Please everyone reading this 

Be Careful With Love.

I'm dead serious

well im signing off 

Goodbye everyone

And 

Good Luck <3