Mixtapes.

 

There’s something disarming about listening to mixtapes. It captivates me. Because these are a serious of songs that reminds him of you, that these are not empty words, every lyric means a thing to them. It’s the music and the confessions they want to tell you, but have no courage to say it to you personally. They use this as a medium to make you reach out and touch their feelings.  Perhaps this one song is about how they see you, and this song perfectly describes you, then this song is what they listen to when they think about you, and this song is your favorite, this song is his favorite. This song is what your relation ship is at the moment. This song tells about how your relation ship was back then. This song concludes the things he would love to do with you. This song is the song you two listened to at 2:am. This song is your party song. This song is the song I’m too embarrassed to like but I want you to hear it anyways, this song is from my the band that saved my life.

This song is our song.

Mixtapes are important.

Because we break up, I delete your messages. You unfriend me. Burn every photograph. Throw away the gifts. No more evidence that the love we had are prominent. I deleted my drafts of you. All 10,000 and more words, all hundred of entries I wrote for you. Gone.

You’re gone.

You start making mixtapes for another one.

I go back.

I open your mixtape.

Even if you created two mixtapes to that one person.

You at least left me with one.

I listen to it.

You’re gone.

I’m long gone.

You’re moved on.

I’m reminiscing.

Everything is left behind.

But as I listen to this. Nostalgia sets in.

He memories flood back.

Thank you for the mixtape.

I loved you.

I love you.

I’ll keep loving you.

Remember the time I said I’d make you a mixtape?

I never got the chance to give it to you.

Because I had

Far too many songs

I wanted you to listen to

Because you remind me of them

And suddenly every song I listen to

Takes me back to your face.

— Rishaki. I was so ing stupid for deleting my tumblr blog. And now, I vent here.