Empty.

A word that defines my life.

I stand on the edge of the abyss that is my life. 

A dark, cold hole that will swallow me up at any moment, claiming me as it's own and never letting me go.

Why do I feel so lonely? Why do I feel so incomplete? Why do I feel empty?

Yes, epmty, that's the right word. 

It describes me perfectly. 

It seems, no matter what I do, I never feel whole.

Emptiness has become a dear friend of mine, and I wish so desperately that it would leave. 

I smile and say, "I'm fine." When I'm really not. Lying through my teeth and never admitting the truth. Keeping up a facade of lies that have kept me alive since I was young.

My life was built on lies. 

Lies of my father telling me that my mother was his number one, that he would always be with me.

Lies of friends, stabbing me in the back to gain higher rank over me in the food chain that is life. 

Lies from boys, telling me that I was fat and ugly, that I was annoying and shouldn't be living. 

Lies that I have sustained through the years.

Emptiness has also brought me loneliness. 

Being left to yourself, with no one around, a lot of things can happen.

It can bring a blade to your arm, slicing the skin open, thinking it will help the pain. 

Thinking that you're doing the right thing. 

Turning you into someone you don't recognize when you look in the mirror.

Enptiness.

Empty. 

A word that defines, my life. 

A word that defines, me.