I was confused. 

And still am.

...

Sometimes I can't tell.

...

This might be a more serious blog post because right now..

I am telling the truth. I am telling you all right now the truth. What I am feeling inside.

I am feeling confused, lost..

I just don't know, I can't make up my mind.

Do I like him or her?

Do I like both of them?

I know I like both of them, but I can only have one.

Him or her?

Her or him?

I am really confused.

I am lost.

I cannot tell.

Sometimes I feel like I am straight. Then I feel lesbian. 

Just typing this up makes me wonder, am I biual?

Obviously I am.

I love Alora like a lover, but them I like this other guy. I mean, I am starting to fall for him. I mean he's hilarious.

But I still love Alora.

When I am around her,I forget all about him and pay attention to her. I love spending time with her, I love the sound of her voice, she is my happiness in life.

I might not like him as much as Alora.

Maybe. Who knows?

There is this huge terrible feeling in my stomach I can't get rid of.

I think it's because of this. I need to know, now.

But I cannot answer myself. I am confused who I love. I am confused who I am.

Who am I?

I am Katie, that's all I know. I like sports, I love spending time with my bestfriend and I want her to be with me.

But she doesn't, she doesn't love me back. I know she isn't lesbian. She doesn't like me back.

I know for a fact that I don't love her like a family member would. I want her to laugh at me and my jokes.. I want to impress her. 

I want to be the person she leans on when everything is cold and blue. 

I know I am young, but I know what love is. I know how it feels. It feels wonderful to be in love.

But when they don't love you like you do to them, it feels terrible.

My heart aches from all of this.

I am not joking, nor lying. I am serious. These words are coming straight from my heart and mind. 

I just wish I could tell them to her. 

She wouldn't understand, she would be creeped out. 

She has no idea.

Sometimes I wish everything worked out perfectly like a fanfiction.

Like a fanfiction.

Everything is perfect, that is why they call it fiction.

Everything is not perfect, nobody is. (Don't start singing Miley Cyrus on me.)

Anyway, so this blog post is a lot more serious and about my life.

About my current situation, I am still confused. 

Thank you.

Thank you for reading this and I hope you understand. Bestfriends might take a while to update...

.__. Annyeong <3