I dont understand how one FRIEND can do this to aother FRIEND

You know how when you have a hard time and when you are going through some issues and problems in life, and your friends tell you that "If you ever need someone, I'll be there to listen"?

I learnt that it wasn't true.

I had a hard time dealing with my issuse and problems

And I wasnt the kind of person who just tell someone about it right away, I usually kept to myself....and so after trying something different for the first time, I decided that it really was better to keep to myself after all.....

one day, I decided that I should trust my friends and take them up on that offer about telling them about my problems... and so I did.

But i really regret it...

After I told them, they said 2 things to me...and it really hurt me.

I cant look at them the same anymore, and they seemed to have brushed it off like it was nothing.

On one of the days where I felt like I was at the lowest points of my life, they told me...

"Stop spreading your negativity to us...Go cry in the dark"

at that moment I froze. and i re-read the message a billion times...

What kind of a friend says that to another friend?

Aren't they supposed to be there with you when your having a hard time? There for you to share the laughs, tears and frowns?

I dont understand.

After what I have done for them in highschool, I felt like they have broken my trust.

I was there to listen to their problems when no one was.

I was there to help them with homework, they no one was.

I was there to take notes for them, even though I was dead tired, when they slept through class.

I was there to arrange birthday suprises.

I was there...

And when I needed them, they weren't

Then I thought, what if they were just like that? to everyone else too?

I was proven wrong.

Another friend had a similar situation like me, but when she told the others, they were all over it.

Asking "are you okay?" ... "Do you want to talk about it?"

I respect them so much....they allowed for my highschool years to be the best ever. (specifically grade 12)

I dont want to grow distant or break our friendship...

But this was a little too much.....

What I fear the most is happening too....I realized the other day that I am slowly starting to hate them.

I started to notice the little things, or maybe it was me overthinking....

I started to feel like an outsider.....

I was treated differently...

So Im trying something different now, and i doubt that what i hope for is gonna happen.....

I decided to avoid them for a while, if they wanted me as a friend, they would come back to me...

With my birthday coming up soon, I really hope I dont have to spend it alone

my brother working, my mom and dad in HK cuz of my dad's leg cancer,

I want to spend it with the people who made me happy in the past....

Anyways, for those who have taken the time to read this blog post, can you tell me what you think on this matter? I would really like to know.......