So, I was scrolling tumblr and I came across a post about fandom hopping. I would show it up here if I could find it again but it's lost somewhere now ;w; (I hate when I do that). The post talked about how it was hard to understand how one can go from dedicating practically their entire life to one band and fandom, staying up to watch livestreams and fangirling 24/7 over a group to deleting their songs and forgetting everything just to be in a different fandom.

Now I'm rethinking what I have done the past year and a half after discovering kpop.

Super Junior was my first and favorite group that I fell in love with. They were the group that my friend showed me and they were the group that had my feels ed up for an entire year. I developed biases and OTPs within a month and made a home on AFF with fellow ELFs. I used to stay up late at night to catch the MAMA awards last year. I used to spend hours laughing at videos and sometimes crying. I used to come home happily from school just to lust over fanfiction updates. They used to be my everything.

Wow. I can't believe it seems to be all gone now.

The feels began to disappear once EXO had their Wolf comeback and my friend introduced the group to me. That was when I fell so hard, too hard. I began to forget about Super Junior. It was my two close ELF friends that kept me lingering on the border of the fandom.

But now I'm ashamed to even call myself an ELF. Too ashamed.

I skip their songs when they come on.

I scroll past their posts on tumblr with a small smile.

I stopped treasuring the super junior bracelets I bought.

The feels were disappearing if not completely vanished already.

But now I want them back, I need them back. Super Junior is such a beautiful, awesome group. I'm seeing many of their fans leave but I don't want to become one of them. I want to return. I want the bittersweet memories to come back and for them to become reality and an everyday thing again.

So, today will be a Super Junior day. I'll write SJ fanfiction, watch their videos, scroll tumblr for them, anything I can think of.

But I've made this post in hope that the ELFs I befriended through the course of the year will read this and help me.

I know that's selfish of me but someone come fangirl!!!

Anyone.

Everyone.

As long as it's super junior come spazz and spill your feels everywhere! Recommend me videos and fanfics and tumblr blogs! And I hope you guys will accept me back into this fandom.