"Hold My Hand (and don’t let go)"

It’s okay if their relationship does not go way beyond this- as friends. It’s okay for Jongin as long as Kyungsoo is by his side.

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Jongin stares at the dimly-lit ceiling of his bedroom. It was an hour past midnight and he should’ve been asleep hours ago but he can’t seem to pull himself to sleep. Everything is quiet except for the ticking of the clock on his bedside drawer, the whirring sound of the air conditioner and the occasional howling of the neighbor’s dog. But the rapid beating of his heart against his chest makes them inaudible.

He felt a stir beside him and Jongin looks at it. He comes face to face with his best friend Kyungsoo curled up into a ball beside him and sleeping soundly. Jongin watches Kyungsoo sleep taking note of the rising and falling of his chest and the cute furrowing of his eyebrows. Is he having a nightmare? He then notices the tear stains on Kyungsoo’s cheeks and Jongin had this sudden urge to wipe them away but hesitated; afraid that he might wake Kyungsoo up.

Jongin stared back at the ceiling and then back at Kyungsoo and back at the ceiling again. His eyelids are starting to feel heavy and he thanks God because he really needs to sleep, alright. His yes have finally shut when he felt something warm in his hand.

Peeking through an eye, he saw Kyungsoo’s right hand in his and the thumping in his chest goes faster the sound it is making louder that all other sounds seem to be out of earshot. He clasped his hand on Kyungsoo’s wishing that the boy won’t notice the shaking and sweating.

“Are you awake?” Kyungsoo suddenly asked that Jongin’s heart skipped a beat. So Kyungsoo wasn’t asleep?

“No.”

“Liar.” They both chuckled and then, silence.

They stayed like that for a while – sleeping beside each other, Jongin lying on his back, Kyungsoo on his side, holding hands with each other.

“I thought you said, you won’t cry.” Jongin said remembering Kyungsoo’s words after he came barging into his house – mad like hell – after a small fight with his boyfriend, Junmyeon. He let Kyungsoo talk about it for hours and hours until it was late into the night and he did not let Kyungsoo go home because ‘it’s too dangerous’.

“I did not.” Kyungsoo replied his voice raising a volume higher and getting a little defensive.

“Why are there tear stains on your cheeks then? And your voice sounds like something is stuck up on your nose?”

“A-Allergies. Don’t your nose get runny and eyes watery when you have them?”

“You were not even sneezing. Liar.”

Kyungsoo did not argue no more

Jongin was tired of this cycle- Kyungsoo always coming into him after having a small fight with Junmyeon usually because “he does not spend enough time with me”. He would always let Kyungsoo talk though until he’s done and gives him a pat on the back because it makes Kyungsoo relax, and forgets that he is mad at his workaholic boyfriend.

But Jongin always and will never forget to notice the small sniffling sounds Kyungsoo makes during the night when the elder thought he is sleeping and his tear-drenched pillows in the morning after.

He hates that Junmyeon because he makes his best friend cry. If he were Junmyeon he wouldn’t make Kyungsoo cry. If he were Junmyeon, he’d spend more time with him as much as possible.

But he is not and he will never be.

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo’s soft and wavering voice broke his trail of thoughts.

“Hmmm?”

“Will you hold my hand… and never let go until I wake up?”

Jongin opens his eyes and looks at Kyungsoo who is now lying on his back and staring at the ceiling his eyes gleaming with tears that are threatening to fall.

“Sure if that’s what you want.” He said and gave the elder’s soft hands a reassuring squeeze.

Kyungsoo may never look at him the way Jongin looks at him nor will Kyungsoo ever give the love Jongin gives him. Jongin may never be Junmyeon- someone who Kyungsoo constantly cries for. But for Jongin, it was okay.

It’s okay if their relationship does not go way beyond this- as friends. Because as long as Kyungsoo finds comfort in him, as long as Kyungsoo is by his side, everything for Jongin is fine. 

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just a small drabble because inspired by the picture above. it looks like KaiSoo don't you think?

posted as blog because i can't remember how to add new story orz comments?